


Of Fervor and Foreboding

by Dreth



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Bondage, College of Winterhold - Freeform, Deviates From Canon, Enemies to Lovers, Erotica, F/M, Happy Ending, Interracial By Fantasy Standards, Male Elf/Female Human, Male High Elf/Female Nord, Original Character(s), Porn With Plot, Power Exchange, Romance, Shitty High Elves, Skyrim - Freeform, Smut, Thalmor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2019-09-02 03:39:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16778884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreth/pseuds/Dreth
Summary: Nocturnal hijinks ensue when an attractive and dangerous Thalmor agent comes to the College of Winterhold. Student Astrid must weigh her conflicting emotions as she grows unexpectedly closer to him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for any lore/game details that I didn't get quite right (read: didn't bother to look up). Hopefully no one is too offended by any mistakes. 
> 
> I also apologize for the possible confusion caused by choosing a name that's already being used by a prominent Skyrim NPC. I haven't played this game in a while and I forgot she existed. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the wizard porn.

The College of Winterhold was not a safe place at the best of times. Strange experiments by the advanced students and failures of the apprentices led to the constant danger of magical disaster. It was not unusual to have to dodge on errant destruction spell in the halls, or to encounter an otherworldly entity that someone had summoned from another plane.

That was on top of the cold. One of the coldest places in Skyrim, Winterhold was a snow-covered wasteland, even more so after the Great Collapse. You could not wish for a lonelier, darker, chiller place. Not that any sane person would wish for any of those things in the first place.

And so, when a Thalmor mage arrived one night, the fast-flying news and subsequent rumors were met with bitter murmurs of, “Of course, where else would they send them?” and, “Better than another dragon attack, I suppose.”

A Thalmor agent in this remote corner of Skyrim was enough to raise the nerves of everyone in town, and when he came straight to the College, it was even more suspicious, on multiple fronts. The folk in town assumed, as they were prone to, that the mages were up to something. The mages themselves assumed he was there to spy, rather than to advise and aid, as he claimed--but they could not deny him entry. It was better to allow the Thalmor this small concession and avoid bringing disproportionate consequences down on Winterhold. So the agent, Ancano, was allowed in--politely, but begrudgingly.

His presence had little effect on Astrid’s daily life at the College. She was only an apprentice, and she kept to herself, mostly, filling her time with classes and studying. She had no secrets or power that would concern the Thalmor. She and the other students went on attending classes as they had before, with the small addition of the foreign mer always lurking in the back of the room, watching. It made everyone uncomfortable, at first, and then he was forgotten, just another piece of the scenery of the College.

At least, everyone else seemed to feel that way. Astrid could not shake the feeling of eyes on her whenever he was around.

Her family had worshiped Talos. Had, until a group of Thalmor justiciars had personally visited them and put a stop to that. It had been a long time ago, and Astrid herself certainly didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about Talos, or any of the gods. But she was still a Nord. She had to wonder if Ancano was keeping a closer eye on her than on her elven or Imperial classmates.

Usually, when she could bear it no more and had to turn around to look, she would find him looking elsewhere. But then her movement would catch his attention, and he would look back at her and smile an amused, unkind smile. She had to suppress a shiver whenever he gave her that smile.

It was a week after his arrival when Astrid crossed a huddled group of students in a dark hallway, all clad in apprentice robes, talking in hushed tones. She spotted Valyra among them--a skinny Dunmer who shared most of Astrid’s classes, and one of the few friends she’d made in her short time at the College. The other students looked up in alarm when they heard her approach, but relaxed when they recognized her.

“Astrid!” Valyra said. “Be careful, today. That Dominion Altmer is on the prowl. He’s demanding to talk to students one on one. Eric said he already cornered him, demanding information about some ridiculous thing or another. He wasn’t kind about it, either. I’ve never seen that poor boy so shaken.”

“Can he do that?” said a tall Breton student. “The College wouldn’t allow him to...do anything to us, would they? The Arch-Mage would step in.”

“The Thalmor can do whatever they want,” grumbled an Orc whose name Astrid didn’t know. “Otherwise they wouldn’t have let him on College grounds in the first place. It’s the same thing they’re doing all over Skyrim. No one will raise a hand to them.”

The three of them exchanged dark looks. No one argued.

“It’s because of that trouble-maker Fenris,” the Orc went on gruffly, turning to Astrid. “He’s up and disappeared, and taken some important staff of the College’s along with him. And everyone knows Eric was a friend of his--that’s why he was questioned.”

“What does that have to do with the Thalmor?” Valyra said. “What is he, a member of the guard now?”

“Who knows why they do anything?” the Orc said. “It’s definitely not to help the College. There’s something in it for him, or he wouldn’t bother.”

“He’s only looking for Nords, then?” Astrid said apprehensively.

The three of them exchanged another cautious look. “We don’t know,” Valyra said. “But keep your wits about you, all the same. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and find out that you’ve been taken away to some Thalmor prison.”

Astrid nodded, and quickened her pace back to her room. Perhaps she should have gone to the dining hall instead, or directly to one of the Wizards--anywhere where there were other people around. She did not want to be caught alone with Ancano.

In the end, it didn’t matter, because just as she began climbing the spiral staircase up to the third level of the tower, where her tiny chamber was, he was coming down. She froze as his yellow eyes alighted on her.

He did not bother to greet her. She wasn’t worth the time it would take to speak those words.

“I’ve been looking for you. Come with me,” he said imperiously. He turned and started back up the stairs, not bothering to check that she was following.

“What’s this about?” she said.

He stopped and turned, looking slightly confused by her disobedience. “Pardon me,” he said, bowing slightly. “I suppose I’ve intruded on your busy schedule of clumsily conjuring mage lights and resurrecting mice. As much as I am loathe to interrupt such vital work, I have questions for you, if you can manage to spare me the time?” He raised his eyebrows, indicating that he very much did not care about whether she had the time or not--just in case there had been any doubt about that before.

Astrid glanced around the empty hall behind her. There was no one’s eye to catch, no one to hear her if she asked for help. Setting her jaw, she reluctantly started up the stairs behind the Altmer.


	2. Chapter 2

Ancano led her to a dim, candlelit room on the sixth floor. It was larger than her own, though not exceedingly so. A desk sat in one corner, a chair in another, and a bookcase stood against the wall. The fireplace on the other side of the bed had a fire burning inside, but did little to warm the room. It was all meticulously clean, which Astrid knew was Ancano’s doing because the rest of the College was never this spotless.

He gestured for her to go inside, then shut the door behind her, sealing off her exit. “Sit,” he said.

Astrid hesitated. There were two chairs in the room, and she wondered which one he meant her to take. But then Ancano sighed impatiently and waved his hand. One of the chairs rushed up behind her, hitting her in the back of the legs. She gasped softly, and sat down before he could do anything else.

“You’ll find that this will all go very quickly and easily if you are able to follow simple instructions,” he said in a bored tone as he went to the desk and picked up a notebook and a pen. He brought it back to the center of the room where she sat, and leaned against an end table as he wrote something at the top of a new page. Astrid found herself looking at him a little too long. He was far from unattractive. She had never really taken notice until now, having never been this close to him before. She was not sure if that fact made the entire situation better or worse.

“What is your name?” he asked.

“Astrid Kalsdottir. It’s spelled--”

“I can spell it,” he said. “Astrid, have you renounced Talos and embraced the Eight as your true gods?”

“Yes,” she said immediately, because that was the answer you gave to any Thalmor, in any circumstance.

“Very well,” he said, jotting something down in the book. “Just a formality, you understand. That’s not why we’re here.”

Astrid tried not to let the relief show on her face. Ancano looked up from his book and studied her for a long moment, and it was the first time since he’d arrived at the College that he’d given her more than a glance. She held his gaze, perfectly still.

“There’s no reason to be frightened,” he said. “If you’ve got nothing to hide, that is. And I’m sure you don’t.”

The statement, of course, only made her more nervous, because it meant that her fear had not escaped his notice. She flushed with embarrassment, but said nothing.

“You are a new student, aren’t you? What brought you to the College?” He began to pace slowly back and forth in front of her, a predator circling its prey. 

“I came three months ago,” Astrid said. She folded her hands in her lap to keep herself from fidgeting with them. “Before this, I worked on a farm, but I’ve always had a propensity for magic. I have a...benefactor, who pays my tuition.”

“A benefactor?”

“My neighbor. An old woman. She was a friend of my parents. She knows I’ve wanted to study here for a long time.”

“Mm. How quaint,” Ancano said, tapping the end of the pen to his lips. “In the Summerset Isles, of course, the gifted are sent to school without having to worry about something as trivial as payment. The Dominion knows that educating its most promising citizens will pay for itself tenfold.”

“Is that where you’re from?”

“Yes. But I’m not the one being interrogated here.”

“Is this an interrogation?” Astrid asked carefully.

“That’s a serious-sounding word, isn’t it?” Ancano said, raising elegant eyebrows again. All of his expressions were just different flavors of haughty, bored, cruel. “But this needn’t be serious unless you make it so.” He dipped the pen into the inkwell on the table beside him. “Did you know a student named Fenris?”

“I…” She hesitated. There was no reason to--she had not known Fenris well. If she told the truth, she would be safe, wouldn’t she? But her nerves had caught her, and made her think too much. Ancano looked close at her when she hesitated, his pale yellow gaze piercing. Astrid looked at her lap. “I talked to him, once or twice, but I didn’t know him well. We’re from the same part of Skyrim. That’s what we talked about.”

“Which part?”

“The South. Neighboring towns, just west of Riften.”

“Did he mention any other places he’d been to? Places he might return to?”

“I don’t think so.”

He wrote something down. “Fenris is suspected of stealing from the College. He has now disappeared.”

Astrid nodded when he paused, not sure what response he was looking for.

“You don’t seem surprised,” he said with a tilt of his head. He thought he’d caught her.

“No,” Astrid said quickly, protesting. “No, I--I don’t know anything about that. The other students told me about it, just this morning.”

“He didn’t tell you that he was planning something? Or that he was leaving?”

“No, of course not.”

“Did you ever see him doing anything suspicious? Sneaking around places he shouldn’t have been?”

“Well, everyone here does things like that...” she said with a shrug. “It’s the College of Winterhold.”

He looked at her for a long time. Astrid was beginning to hate those yellow eyes.

“With respect,” she said carefully, “shouldn’t the Arch-Mage be investigating this? I thought you were here as an advisor.”

“I am,” Ancano said. “But I also report to the Dominion. We are trying to support the College as we forge new ties here, and rogue mages stealing valuable resources do not fit into that plan. But that’s all quite above your head.” He set the book and pen down on the table, and looked at her. He was trying to find a lie. Trying to find something to expose her.

But, the more he looked at her, the more Astrid feared that he was not looking for guilt at all--only for the appearance of guilt. How much of an excuse would he need to do something horrible to her? If he wanted to hurt her, he needed only to manufacture a reason. It was like the other students had said--no one would raise a hand to the Thalmor.

“I should go,” she said in a hushed voice, and began to rise. Before she could leave the chair, Ancano put his hands down on the armrests on either side of her, blocking her in. She gave a small gasp in surprise, and shrank back into the chair.

“You’re a nervous woman, Astrid,” he said. His voice was calm, but his grip on the chair was white-knuckled. “Why?”

“Please, I have to leave,” Astrid said.

“I’ve seen you around the College,” he went on. “I’ve seen you looking over your shoulder in class. I think something is weighing on your mind. Allow me to unburden you.”

“You can’t keep me here,” she said, her voice shaking despite her bold words.

“Can’t I?” he said, smiling that smile that she hated. Her blood ran cold. She grabbed his arm, trying to push him away as she stood. But then he was grabbing her back, his hands tightening around her wrists. She struggled, twisting to try to break free. She was not small by most standards, but he was still a male. He stood six inches taller than her, and his hands were large and strong.

“ _Let go of me!_ ” Astrid shouted, and pushed him away as hard as she could. To her relief, he released her, and didn’t chase her when she backed a few feet away from him.

She stopped, aghast, breathing hard. Her heart pounded. The chair lay behind her, toppled to the floor. Ancano smoothed a lock of his pale hair that had fallen out of place, looking a little surprised at her.

He was an accomplished mage, if the Thalmor had chosen to send him here. If he’d pleased, he probably could have turned her to a pile of ash on the spot. It was not so unusual for students at the College to go missing or turn up dead, after all.

But he only smiled again, as if to reassure her that she had not shaken him.

“If you wanted to leave, you needed only to ask,” he said, perfectly polite again. He gestured to the door, and on cue, it opened. “We’re finished here, for now. You may go.”

Astrid eyed the door, expecting some sort of trick. When none seemed apparent, she took a few steps toward the door, watching Ancano. He watched her back, amused. Hurriedly she crossed the last few steps to the door and left.


	3. Chapter 3

Things were different, after that. 

She watched her back. She avoided hallways that were too secluded, and tried to follow others to and from class so that she wouldn’t have to be alone. She supposed it was naive to think that he had it out for her more than for anyone else--he seemed to consider anyone an enemy if they didn’t do exactly as he wished. But now, when she looked over her shoulder in class, he was always watching her. She kept thinking of his hands on her. She had dreams about it. Not all unpleasant ones, which almost made it worse.

She’d meant to tell Mirabelle what had happened. But when she’d approached her, her words had all caught in her throat and hadn’t come out properly. She’d begun to question whether it was worth making a complaint. Would they ask why she’d been stupid enough to go with him in the first place? Would they consider what he’d done to be an offense worth confronting him for? After all, he hadn’t really hurt her. He’d let her go. And if they did confront him, would it only make him angrier with her? 

She’d ended up asking the Master Wizard some silly thing like which day the next quarter started, instead, and quickly excused herself. 

But her caution seemed to work, for the next week. The buzz about Fenris passed as the investigation turned up nothing sinister, and soon he was nearly forgotten, just another piece of the strange patchwork of mysteries that formed the history of the College of Winterhold. She did not see Ancano anywhere but in class. She wondered what he was spending his time on, but she tried not to think about it too much. She had work to do for her classes, experiments to assist with, and more books to read than she had time for. 

Her worry had begun to wane somewhat until, one night, she awoke to the sound of screams from the courtyard outside. 

She jerked awake. There was a moment in which she was frozen under her covers, hardly daring to move. But then there was another scream, and she was driven to action. She leapt from bed into the cold air, and was still pulling on a robe when she opened the door. Her bare feet slapped against the icy stone floor as she rushed outside, hand raised to conjure a protective ward. She nearly tripped over a white-faced Breton in the robes of an advanced student, who was crouched on the edge of the courtyard. 

“Stay back!” he cried. “I can’t control it!” 

Astrid looked up, and her heart nearly stopped. Prowling across the courtyard was a massive black beast, nearly twice as tall as she and covered in fur, like a huge, otherworldly wolf. Strange black wisps of smoke rose from it, as if it were made of shadow. Its eyes glowed fluorescent yellow, and ectoplasmic black saliva dripped from its bared teeth. A terrible smell filled the courtyard, like rotting flesh and acrid smoke. 

“By Talos, what is that thing?” Astrid gasped, covering her nose and mouth. 

“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” moaned the Breton. “I really thought I could do it—” 

Other students had gathered around the edges of the courtyard, now. Opposite Astrid, a small crowd of students all clad in pajamas hovered protectively over a prone woman. Astrid could see blood on her clothes. 

As she watched, the wolf-thing turned, circling in place to look at all of them--choosing its next target. Its gaze settled on the largest group of onlookers, on the other side of the courtyard. They cowered as it started toward them. Some of them had the presence of mind to conjure the wards they’d learned on their first day of class. It would not be enough to protect them. 

Astrid concentrated, channeling magicka from the atmosphere through her body.  _ Fire _ , she thought, and a flame appeared in her hand. She grew the flame bigger, putting everything she had into it, then threw it at the beast. The thing stopped and growled in annoyance as the flame hit it, though it didn’t seem hurt. 

“Are you crazy?” shouted the Breton. “Don’t make it angry!”

“It’s already angry!” Astrid shot back. But as the thing turned and stalked toward her, she realized she had no follow-up plan. Her hands shook as she tried to form another flame. A spark flickered in her hand, but her concentration was too weak to manifest it fully. She backed against the wall as the beast crouched to leap at her. 

But then, the beast stopped, howling in pain. A huge line of flame had cut through it, dissolving the shadowy flesh where it touched. But then the shadow reformed, and the beast was whole again. It rounded on the wielder of the flame, its ghostly fur standing on end with fury. 

Ancano stood in the entrance to the courtyard, brandishing the flame like a whip. He was wearing only his robes without his jacket, which made him look strangely incomplete, and his hair was lopsided and uncombed. Like the rest of them, he’d just woken up. 

He raised the flame again, and it coiled around the beast like a snake. The thing cried out, shaking with pain. For a few seconds, it was forced to halt as it waited for its flesh to heal. 

Ancano’s flame disappeared. He raised a hand, holding it out toward the beast, and his lips began moving as he spoke an incantation. The beast, still shaking and smoking, staggered toward him. 

“What is he doing?” Astrid said. “He’ll be killed!” She started forward to help, though she had no idea what she could do. The Breton grabbed her arm, holding her back. 

The beast crawled forward, growling and roaring and spewing blackness from its jaws. A trail of something black coated the floor wherever it moved, like hellish blood. Ancano didn’t so much as flinch at the ear-splitting roars. He stared at the beast, unblinking, and his lips kept moving. 

When the beast was only a few yards from the Altmer, it raised a massive, clawed paw, and Astrid was sure it would crush him into dust. But then, the beast screamed, and its body dissolved into a thousand shards of smoke and shadow, disappearing back to whatever plane it had crawled from. All that was left of it was the black blood smeared across the stones of the floor. 

It was suddenly silent. Snow drifted peacefully around the courtyard, unaware of the danger that had been there only moments before. 

Ancano lowered his arm, and glared around at all of the cowering students. “What fool summoned it?” he demanded. 

No one answered. Eyes were quickly cast downward whenever he looked at one of them. The Breton beside Astrid looked at her, pleading with his eyes. When Ancano turned to her, she hesitated, then looked away, pursing her lips. She was not going to be the one to rat anyone out to the Thalmor spy. 

The bloodied woman on the ground moaned in pain, and drew Ancano’s attention. The students around her parted as he approached. Almost as an afterthought, he waved a hand over her. There was a bluish glow, and then the woman’s wounds were gone. 

It was then that Mirabelle and Tolfdir appeared in the entryway, out of breath from running. They quickly took in the scene, and realized that whatever danger had been there was now gone. 

“You!” Mirabelle said when she spotted Ancano. “What have you done? I told you, if you caused any trouble--” 

“No need to thank me,” he said acidly, resting a hand on his hip. “I’ve only saved all your idiot students from killing themselves. I do believe that if I hadn’t been here, they’d all be dead. They’re lucky I’m quicker to react than you,  _ Master-Wizard _ .” He spat the title at her, dripping sarcasm. 

Mirabelle watched him with narrowed eyes as he brushed past her. 

“I hope you all can manage to keep yourselves alive until tomorrow morning, or at least keep the noise to a minimum,” he said over his shoulder. “Even Altmer need sleep.” 

Astrid hugged herself as the chill of the night settled into her bones. The other students began to hurry back to their rooms before Mirabelle and Tolfdir could question them. 

“Thank you,” the Breton student whispered to Astrid. 

“Idiot,” she whispered back, and turned on her heel to return to her bed. 


	4. Chapter 4

Astrid sat at a table in the corner of the library. A small mage light floated above her head to light her book in the darkness of evening. She’d read this passage over several times, and had to start over when she realized that, again, she’d been thinking about something else by the time she’d reached the end of it. It was the time of night when reading had become an impossibility, and not just because her eyes were sticky-dry from lack of sleep and over-reading.

She looked up. All the other mage lights were gone, along with their respective casters. She was the only one left. Even Urag, the head librarian, had gone. She quickly bookmarked the book and got up to put it back on the shelf. She hadn’t meant to stay so late. Now she would have to walk back to her room in deserted halls.

She left the library, peering nervously around the corner before she entered the dark hallway. The occasional mage lights on the walls gave a dim, unwavering blue light along the way, but it was not enough to remove the eerie atmosphere of the seemingly abandoned school.

When she’d reached the bottom of the tower, almost to the safety of her room, a shadow grew long on the floor, cast by something tall behind her.

“Miss Astrid,” a voice said.

She jumped. Slowly she turned. And of course--because luck had never favored her--Ancano was standing there behind her. His arms were crossed casually over his chest as he looked down at her--the same way, she imagined, that he would have looked at an especially persistent and offensive-smelling beggar. His face was so handsome that even this expression of distaste did not look particularly bad on him.

She wanted to simply turn and keep walking the other direction. But she also did not want to risk infuriating him, after what had happened the other day.

“What are you doing? Following me?” she said indignantly.

He rolled his eyes, somehow managing to look regal about it. “I don’t know which to address first--your arrogance at thinking that anyone would have the time or desire to follow _you_ in particular, or the insult to me that _I_ would have the time or desire for it.”

“You’ve only cornered me during the one time in two weeks that I’ve been out alone,” Astrid pointed out with a hostile smile.

“No one is cornered, here. Perhaps you are a bit paranoid.”

She looked around the hallway, hoping to see someone happen by. There was no one. She looked up at Ancano. She’d been unable to shake the image of him in the courtyard the other day, standing fearless in front of that conjured beast. Her annoyance with his demeanor lessened, slightly.

“I...suppose I should thank you,” she said reluctantly. He’d saved her life. He was entitled to her gratitude for that, at least, regardless of her dislike for him otherwise. “For what you did the other day.”

His face went strangely blank, as if he was a little less certain of himself than he’d been a moment ago. But then the look was gone again. “You suppose correctly,” he agreed. “And in fact, that--event--is the reason I am here. I want to know who summoned that beast. I know you know who did it, and I know that you aren’t strong enough to have done it yourself. So who is?”

She shrugged. “You’re wrong,” she said shortly. “I don’t know.” She turned to leave, and he quickly circled around and held an arm out against the wall in front of her, blocking her path. She stopped short.

“I know you know,” he said again. “And why is it that you always seem to be involved in things going wrong around here? One would almost think that that signifies guilt of one kind or another.” 

“I’m not involved in anything,” she said. “None of this is your business. Let my own superiors question me, if they so choose.”

“Whoever did this is a fool and a weakling and needs to be put on a leash at best, preferably expelled or jailed. Why protect them?”

“I’m not protecting anyone. It was a stupid mistake, anyway--I’m sure that whoever’s responsible will not make the same mistake again.” She took a step away from him. “Please, leave me alone.”

Ancano reached forward suddenly and took hold of the collar of her robe. Astrid gasped and grabbed his wrist, trying to pry him off.

“I ask very little of you,” he said sharply. “I suggest you start cooperating.”

“Fine!” Astrid spat, still wriggling in his grasp. “It was me. I did it.”

His eyes widened in surprise. Then he snarled and took her by the arm, pulling her along behind him. Astrid struggled to wrench her arm free, but could not break his hold.

“ _Enough_ ,” Ancano snapped. He looked back at her, and the look in his eyes could have melted ice. “You’re going to come quietly, or I’ll set you on fire.”

Astrid froze, going limp in his grasp. His tone sent a chill through her. She really believed he’d do it. “And...if I do as you say?” she asked.

“We’ll see,” he replied.

He dragged her up the stairs. She stumbled along behind him, desperately hoping they might pass someone else who happened to be up too late. She wanted to call for help, but the threat of conjured fire stuck her tongue in her mouth, and she could not find her voice.

He opened the door to his room and pushed her inside, then locked the door behind them. Astrid backed away until she hit a wall. She shivered against the cool stone.

Ancano looked at her, his lips curling in distaste. She couldn’t be sure whether he was angry at her because he believed her, or because he knew she was lying. Having locked the door, he stalked across the room toward her. Astrid held her hands protectively in front of her.

“Don’t hurt me. I’m sorry,” she said, hating how pathetic her voice sounded. She could not fight him. The only thing she could do was try and evoke his pity.

He stopped in front of her, and put his hand under her jaw to turn her face slightly as he looked at her. He looked to be enjoying himself. Astrid pulled away from him, defiant through her fear.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said finally. He went to the other side of the room, removed his jacket, and draped it across a chair. When he came back, he was holding something in his hands. Before she realized what it was, he’d closed something over her wrists. Thick steel handcuffs. Astrid looked up at him with equal parts fear and outrage.

“For mages,” Ancano explained. “They keep their wearer from using magic.”

Astrid concentrated, trying to conjure a flame. Nothing happened. It was not just because she was too nervous. No magicka flowed through her body at all. A sick feeling bubbled up in her chest. “This is not necessary,” she said.

Ancano, apparently satisfied that she was well and truly helpless, crossed his arms as he looked at her. “Probably not,” he said. “But better safe than sorry, no? You did claim to have summoned a very powerful monster all the way from Namira’s plane. That is no small feat.”

Astrid tried to steady her quick breathing.

“Do you understand why you’re here in this room, Astrid?” said Ancano, pacing.

“You’ve been wanting to bring me here since last time,” she guessed. “You hate me because I’m a Nord.”

That made him look up at her in surprise. He laughed. “How ridiculous. Is that what you think? Do Nords hate us simply for being Altmer, then?”

Astrid shrugged indifferently.

“I don’t hate Nords, or apprentice mages,” he said. “The same way that I don’t hate deer, or mudcrabs. I don’t waste energy hating things that are beneath me.”

Astrid shot him a small, hateful look. And then, gathering her courage, she said quietly, “Everyone knows you’re not really here as an advisor for the Arch-Mage.”

“Do they?”

“You’re here because the Thalmor don’t want us getting too powerful,” Astrid accused.

“Who says that?”

“ _Everyone_. We’re not as stupid as you pretend. You’re trying to keep track of what sort of spells we’re using, and who knows them, so that you can control us. That’s why you want to know who made that thing.”

Ancano smiled coldly at her. “I liked you better when you were begging for your life.”

She slumped against the wall, defeated. “We both know you can do with me as you will. So either do it or don’t. I’m sure my protests will make no difference to you.”

He was still smiling. He cocked his head slightly. “What do you think I’m going to do, exactly?”

His tone had changed--a little softer than before. Something about the way he said it conveyed a challenge. It was not a rhetorical question, and not quite a threat, either. She suddenly got the sense that her too-long looks at him had not gone unnoticed. She quickly turned her eyes to the floor.

She thought he was about to show her what, precisely, he was going to do, but then he turned away again, perhaps having changed his mind about whatever he’d been thinking of.

“So you don’t deny it?” she said. “You’re really here to keep an eye on us. To keep us under control. That’s it, isn’t it?”

“Yes, of course it is,” Ancano said impatiently, rolling his eyes. “But it is uncouth to say so aloud. That’s what we call ‘politics’.”

“You could try treating people here as equals. The Dominion could ally with the College, instead of sneaking and spying and...and kidnapping.”

“I can do all of those things at once, and I am, in fact.”

“Then you’re not doing a good job of it. Most of us here felt neutral toward the Thalmor and the Dominion, before now. But now you’re here, and no one at the College trusts you, and so they don’t trust the Dominion either. You’ve only made yourself worse off by coming here.”

He frowned at her. She almost thought that he had taken her point into consideration, but then he said, “I did not bring you here so that I could explain diplomacy to you. You’re wasting my time.”

Astrid shifted against the wall. She had nothing to say to him. “How long do you mean to keep me here?” she asked.

“As long as I need to to decide whether or not you’re lying, and whether you’re a threat to what I’m trying to accomplish here.”

“You can’t do this. You’re here at the College’s courtesy. You can’t kidnap students and hold them captive.”

“And yet, I have.”

“They’re going to remove you from the campus.”

“So be it. In the meantime, you are here with me until I see fit for you to leave. You are free to start cooperating at any time. There’s no reason our relationship should be so disharmonious.” He turned and sat in a chair across the room and looked at her, head propped on his hand. He looked a little tired. Astrid got the impression that he might have been regretting bringing her here now that their tempers were cooling, just as she was regretting talking back to him. “I must admit, you are being much more difficult than I thought you’d be. Of all the other students here, you are the only one who has forced me to resort to this.”

She clenched her bound fists. “Then I suppose I’m different than the other students,” she sneered sarcastically.

“Yes,” he said. “That you are.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What do you think it means?”

She glared at him. He was playing games with her. She watched his face. The soft bow that was his lips had cocked upward in a small, devilish smile. One of his neat brows arced slightly higher than the other, lengthening his perfectly straight face. The fingers of the hand that cupped his jaw tapped idly against his cheek.

She realized she was staring at him again when his smile grew a little wider, amused. He knew exactly what she was staring at. She looked away, her face heating.

“You’re not going to kill me,” she said, making it sound like an accusation. “And I’m not going to tell you anything. You know you’ve made a mistake by bringing me here. So I’m going to wait here until you get tired of this and let me go.” Eyeing Ancano warily, she went to stand by the fire. She stood as close as she could, and let the heat wash over her as she watched the flames.

She stood there for a long time, waiting for him to react. She began to relax slightly. If he’d wanted to hurt her, he would have done it, and if he’d disagreed with her assessment of the situation, he would have said so.

Finally she heard him get up from the chair and approach her. The hairs on the back of her neck rose up. She turned to face him, afraid of an attack from behind.

“Maybe there’s something else you’d like to do, instead of talk?” he suggested.

Astrid’s skin prickled. “I don’t know what you mean,” she said a little too quickly.

“I think you do.”

“Are you trying to intimidate me?”

“No, I’m trying to seduce you.”

Astrid stayed very still.

“I may have been mistaken about you,” Ancano said thoughtfully, squinting at her. He spoke tentatively, as if surprised by his own commentary. She got the feeling that he did not make such admissions often. “I thought I saw guilt in you--but maybe it has been something else, all along?”

Astrid was quiet for a long few moments, trying to ascertain his intent. At length, she decided he was making fun of her. “How should I know what you think you see in me?” she said evasively.

“I see many things in you. Among them—” He paused, as if reluctant to admit whatever he was about to say. “I would be lying if I said you weren’t beautiful.”

Astrid stared at him.

“Does that offend you?”

“It offends me because you dragged me up here against my will and put handcuffs on me.”

“Oh,” he said, as if he’d somehow forgotten that part. “That is...unfortunate.”

Astrid shifted uncomfortably. She turned to stare into the fire again, afraid that her face would give her away. She could not look at him without being sorely tempted by the proposition. “Why would you tell me something like this? A few minutes ago you were threatening to kill me.”

He sighed. “Let us be frank. You’ve already decided you’re not going to tell me what I want to know, and you won’t give it up unless I...properly motivate you. And as much as you irritate me, I am not completely lacking in compassion, so I would prefer not to do that when I can probably find the information I’m looking for elsewhere.”

“Do the Thalmor not have a rule against fraternizing with the people they’re spying on?”

“I am flattered that you’re concerned about my standing with the Thalmor,” Ancano said, and she could hear the mocking smile in his voice. He went on, “This place has been nothing but mind-numbingly dull since I first arrived. But you’re here, and I know you’re attracted to me. Perhaps it doesn’t have to be so dull.”

Astrid didn’t answer.

After a few beats, he took a step closer to her, and then she could feel him behind her, even without touching him. She could feel his presence, barely brushing her clothes. She could feel the heat of his body.

“Maybe we should start over. Things could be much more pleasant between us, if you wanted them to be,” he said. Astrid felt his breath on her neck. She tried not to shiver.

“Pleasant for who?” she asked.

His hand touched her shoulder, absently tracing a line from her arm to her neck. She stiffened, taken aback by the sudden touch. His hair draped over her shoulder as he bent to put his lips next to her ear. He smelled faintly like soap and something else she couldn’t identify.

“Both of us,” he said. His lips brushed her ear, and this time, she did shiver. His fingers continued slowly playing against her neck.

She felt his head cock to the side after she remained silent. His hand hovered to a stop. “Is that a no?” he said skeptically.

She looked at the fire, and then sideways at his hand on her shoulder. “No,” she said, raising her eyebrows a little with surprise at herself.

Ancano hesitated, and then, as if he could suddenly wait no longer, his hand was on her breast. Astrid sucked in a breath softly. The carefulness of the touch surprised her. He squeezed her, firm but gentle, like a lover would. A sharp contrast to the way he’d grabbed her before. He touched her slowly and methodically, in an almost hypnotic pattern. No one had touched her there in a long time. She was petrified, and at the same time wanted to sink into the touch.

He buried his face in her neck, tightening a hand in her hair as he breathed her in deeply. His lips were on her skin, his breath heavy and hot. Small shivers of pleasure went through her at each touch.

He reached around to unbutton the top of her robes. His warm hands caressed her skin, exploring the curve and weight of her breasts. She suppressed a gasp of excitement as his fingers brushed her nipple. It was hard and erect, and not from the cold. Astrid felt a rush of embarrassment at her body’s arousal, but she could not help herself.

The heat of the fire sank into her skin, warming her. His hands seemed to be everywhere, doing everything at once. It was too much to take in at once.

At some point, she realized she had leaned up against him, and he was half holding her up as he touched her. His body felt strong and solid behind her, radiating warmth through her back. Something hard pressed conspicuously against her backside.

She should not have wanted this. She should have been trying to leave. But right now, she wanted that hard thing inside her so badly.

“You cast a spell on me,” Astrid said as it dawned on her--the only explanation for this inexplicable desire.

Ancano stopped, and then there was a sharp exhalation of breath behind her. A laugh. “No,” he said, sounding very amused. His chest vibrated slightly against her back as he spoke. “But I will take that as a compliment.”

Entangling his fingers in her hair, he pulled her head back so that he could press his lips over hers. Astrid gave a small moan. His mouth was hot and wet, and as his fingers tightened in her hair, his tongue worked its way into her mouth. Astrid’s legs began to give out under her. Ancano pulled back and caught her before she could fall. He paused to look at her. His eyes were heavy-lidded and hungry. Astrid knew that her own eyes must look the same.

He pulled her to the bed. He uncuffed her long enough to hastily remove the rest of her clothes and fasten her handcuffs to one of the iron bars that formed the headboard, and then he was kissing her again. Astrid shivered and curled her toes, not just because of the cold. She was naked now, completely exposed and helpless with her arms bound above her. It was an odd feeling, but not a bad one by any means.

He pulled away from her and looked down at her. She expected him to undress himself too, so that he could conquer her fully--a thought that intimidated and thrilled her. But instead, he sat beside her on the bed and trailed his hand over her thigh. The light tickle of the touch made her twitch--even moreso when his hand reached her inner thigh, and then the close-cropped hair of her mound. His hand hovered there before going further, drawing out the moment. His eyes were on her face, watching her closely. Astrid bit her lip and rolled her hips slightly in anticipation.

Then his fingers reached down to stroke her, barely touching. Astrid closed her eyes and tried not to moan. A small sound escaped her throat. Her skin was swollen and wet. His hand stroked her over and over, one finger grazing her slick slit as the others massaged her outer lips. Occasionally one of his fingers would brush her clit, sending a shock through her.

“Why are you doing this?” Astrid whispered, her voice hitching on one syllable when he hit just the right spot.

“I like seeing women enjoy themselves.”

“I’m not enjoying this,” she breathed. His fingers stroked deeper, suddenly, rubbing her in earnest.

“Strange,” Ancano mused, a little smile playing on his lips. “It looked like you were.” He rubbed her faster, and her back arched as she pushed her pelvis into him, grinding on the palm of his hand.

But then he retreated, rubbing her gently again. Too gently. He was smiling at her now, like he was enjoying a joke that she wasn’t in on. He stroked her like that, teasing, barely touching, for too long. Soon her wetness covered his hand and coated the inside of her legs. She had begun to ache. And still he only teased, every once in a while deigning to brush her entrance or her clit, sending her close to the edge but never over it. Every touch sent her moaning and twitching helplessly. Every time she moved to press against his hand, he pulled it out of reach.

“Torture?” she whispered suddenly, eyes wide with horrified realization.

He laughed again, loud this time, throwing his head up in the air. “This is not _torture_ ,” he said. “This is _fun_.”

“Please,” she begged. “That’s enough.” She ground against his hand, hungering for the feel of his body penetrating hers.

His smile faded as he gazed at her, as unblinking as he’d been in front of Namira’s beast. And then he was up off the bed, hurriedly taking his clothes off. Astrid watched with fascination as more and more of his body was revealed--smooth, lean-muscled arms, decidedly masculine shoulders and chest, the strange beautiful gold skin that was typical of his race--and then he removed his bottoms. His cock stood up straight and tall, just like he did. It seemed appropriate.

He paused beside the bed, watching her watching him. He seemed to enjoy the admiration in her gaze. Then he climbed on top of her. One arm rested on either side of her head, fencing her in. The tip of his cock brushed lightly against her stomach. He was so close to her now. The closeness exhilarated her instead of frightening her, now, and the contrast was arousing in a way she’d never felt before.

He bent down and pressed his face into her neck, kissing her passionately as his hands groped at her breasts, more eagerly than before. Astrid moaned into his touch.

“Please,” she moaned softly. “More.”

“Mmm,” he said into her neck. “Yessss...keep begging.”

Her heart pounded faster. She pushed aside her embarrassment and spoke. “Ancano,” she whispered. “I need you to--ah!”

One of his hands was on his cock, guiding the head gently along her wet slit, up and down.

“Yes?” he breathed, pulling back to look her in the eyes. His own breath was heavy now, all pretense gone as lust began to overtake him. “Tell me what you want.”

“I want you inside me.”

His cock sank a little deeper, rubbing the slick, soft flesh inside her lips. “Tell me,” he said again, breathily.

Astrid groaned, pressing herself against his cock. “ _Just do it already_ ,” she said.

His cock pressed against her entrance, and slid slowly inside. Astrid gasped with helpless bliss. He pulled out, and pressed in again. Her body recoiled, stretching and opening to accommodate him.

“ _Oh, Talos_ ,” Astrid murmured. She spread her legs as wide around him as he thrust--slow at first, and then deeper and harder. With each thrust, his pelvic bone pressed against her clit, sending waves of pleasure through her.

And then, finally, she could take it no more. A tension built inside her, then released, all at once, as she came. She cried out, unable to quiet herself. Her insides clenched around Ancano’s cock, and he groaned. His hips bucked involuntarily. He thrust deep into her and held there, his arms squeezing her shoulders to hold her tight against him. She felt hot seed spilling inside her as his cock twitched, held tight by her spasming muscles.

Then he was still for a long time. He lay on top of her, his body heavy and hot and limp. Astrid closed her eyes, enjoying the weight of him covering her, and the feel of him slowly softening inside her. His once strong and confident hands lay soft and sleepy beside her. The cold in the air began to close in, and seemingly unconsciously, he pressed himself closer to her.

After a time, he sat up on the edge of the bed, raising a hand to smooth over his mussed hair. He looked down at her, wearing no particular expression on his face.

It was strange to see him undressed. Without a uniform, he had become just a person, rather than the face of the Thalmor. Who was he really, in his solitary time, when he wasn’t representing the Dominion?

Now that the fever of lust was gone, Astrid felt vaguely uncomfortable under his gaze, and she began to wonder what had come over her to make her do what she’d just done. She looked away from him, and bent her knees until her feet rested against her buttocks in a tacit attempt to shield herself from the open air.

“Talos,” he murmured.

Astrid frowned. “What?”

He smirked at her, but there was not much humor in his eyes. “Here I thought I’d have you screaming _my_ name,” he said. “And instead, out comes ‘Talos’.”

Her eyes widened as she realized what she’d said before, without thinking. “Force of habit,” she explained. “From my childhood. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Yes…” He looked tired. It seemed he was still in too muzzy and euphoric a state to come up with any insults for her. “You should try to break that habit.”

“Yes,” she said.

Ancano stood and began to dress again, facing the other way. Astrid, guiltily, stole a few last looks at him before he was covered again. She quickly looked away when he turned toward her.

He crossed his arms as he came to stand over her. “Did you summon the beast?” he said.

He would find out the truth eventually, even if she held out now. It was not a well-thought-out lie. She had mostly said it out of anger and defiance in the heat of the moment. “No. I don’t even study conjuration.”

“I thought not.” He considered her for a second longer, then produced a key and unlocked her handcuffs.

Astrid pulled her arms to her chest, rubbing the red marks on her wrists where the metal had dug into her skin. Ancano handed her her clothes, and she put them on, eager to put a barrier between her and the cold air.

“We will...discuss this again later,” Ancano said evasively. Astrid pushed her head through the neck of her robe, and peered up at him, leery.

He handed her a vial of something. Astrid could see a dark liquid inside. “Drink this,” he said.

Astrid looked up at it mistrustfully. “Why?”

“Do you want a baby?”

Her eyes widened. Ancano raised one eyebrow a little nervously, as if he was afraid that she might, in fact, want a baby. Astrid took the vial and downed it all at once.

A few minutes later, when she had left and Ancano had shut the door behind her, she stood still in the dark hall, her head still swimming with a confused satisfaction. What in Oblivion had just happened?


	5. Chapter 5

Astrid spent the next days trying to decide if what had happened that night had all been a strange dream. She couldn’t have really done that. She didn’t do things like that. With someone like that. It was all so bizarre. And so terribly good. Her memories of the event were enough to keep her up at night, unable to sleep until she gave in and pleasured herself. 

Ancano always seemed to be around--in classes, or lurking in the library or around the grounds. She dreaded seeing him, but whenever she did, her eyes always lingered on him a little too long. She avoided him as much as possible--because she feared the humiliation of anyone noticing the effect he had on her, and because she was afraid he would try to trap her again. She hadn’t forgotten the threats he’d made to her, or the way he’d grabbed her before. 

It distracted her massively when he sat in on classes and experiments. She could feel his eyes on her. When she glanced behind her, he would smirk back at her. Her work in class began to suffer. Her hands would shake when she raised them to cast. She could not help but imagine him behind her, silently laughing at her fumbling attempts at simple spells. Perhaps he took pity on her, because once, after a particular embarrassing failure to conjure a ball of frost magic, she looked behind her and found him already gone. Gradually he began to show up in her classes less often. 

She had almost thought he’d lost interest in her, which was a bit of a disappointment and a bit of a relief. She was in the stacks of the library one evening when she spotted a dark shape approaching out of the corner of her eye. She managed not to jump when she turned and found him standing beside her. His eyes seemed to glow slightly in the dim. 

He barely looked down at her. “I want to see you again,” he said quietly, getting right to the point. “Tonight.” 

Astrid paused, frozen in the middle of pulling a book from a shelf. She finished pulling it out, and tucked it under her arm. “In Skyrim, it is polite for folk to greet each other before demanding things.” 

“Hello, then,” he said perfunctorily. 

She gave him a mildly distasteful look, and casually brushed past him to sit at a table in the center of the library. She resisted the urge to turn back to see the look on his face. She doubted people walked away from him often. She opened the book and raised her pen to take notes in her own notebook. 

But Ancano followed, and sat down across from her. He folded his hands on the table, and made a subtle glance around the library before looking at her, eyes narrowed. He was trying to figure her out--like she was a piece of Dwarven clockwork that he could understand if he just stared at it hard enough. Astrid began copying something down in her notebook, more to look busy than because she really needed to. 

“Perhaps you didn’t hear me properly?” he suggested. 

Astrid frowned. She didn’t know why she’d expected him to behave any differently toward her now, but apparently she had, because his rudeness was doubly grating now. “I heard you,” she said, not looking up. “What if I refuse?” 

It seemed as if he genuinely hadn’t considered that possibility. “I did not think you would,” he said. “After last time.” 

She looked up at him--which was, perhaps, a mistake. Seeing his face reminded her how much she wanted it between her legs. “Perhaps you overestimate yourself,” she said with a condescendingly gentle smile. 

“I very much doubt that.” 

“I’m sure.” She looked down at the book again.

Ancano was silent, watching her. For once, he was at a loss for words. Astrid smiled a little to herself as he scowled around at the library. It was not quite empty. A few students sat at the other tables and were casting furtive glances over at the Thalmor agent. 

“I don’t particularly like your tone. Perhaps you need to be reminded of your place,” he hissed finally, leaning forward. He had failed to charm her, so he had turned to threats again, instead. Nasty was his default state of being. “I meant to be kind to you, but clearly you have begun to think too much of yourself.” 

“That was your attempt at kindness?” Astrid scoffed. “The Thalmor don’t have any idea what kindness even looks like, do they? It makes sense. Cruelty must be a prerequisite for the job.” 

He shot to his feet. “I will not listen to insults from a stupid human girl.” 

Astrid looked up at him in surprise, then glanced around the library. Everyone had looked up at the outburst. Urag was looking up at Ancano with tired irritation from over the tops of his reading glasses. Ancano straightened his jacket, aware of all the eyes on him. 

“I think you should go,” Astrid said, loud enough for the others to hear. 

He shot her a glare. “I’m not done with you,” he said, low enough that only she could hear. Then he whirled and left. Astrid watched him leave, sinking into her chair as her facade of confidence crumbled. 


	6. Chapter 6

She lay in bed that night and stared at the ceiling, wide awake long after everyone else must have fallen asleep. Her fire had gone out, and the air was icy. She pulled her blankets closer around her chin.

The cold was not the only discomfort she felt. There was a dull ache between her legs that would not go away no matter how hard she tried to think of other things. Eventually, she lowered her hand under the blankets. She closed her eyes, and gingerly rubbed a finger over her underwear, brushing herself through the fabric. Small, soft circles at first, then harder, more eagerly.

Her breath began to come a little heavier. She had not meant to slip into a fantasy, but it came anyway. She imagined gold-skinned hands touching her. She imagined his eyes on her, filled with hunger. She thought of the smell of him, the feel of his hair brushing against her neck, the look of need on his face as he positioned himself over her.

Her hand abruptly stopped. She opened her eyes. She stared at the ceiling for what must have been a minute or more, her hand hovering over herself.

Then she sighed, and got out of bed. Slipping on a warm cloak, she left her room.

She knocked on his door softly, not wanting to wake any of the others on his floor, and pulled her cloak closer against the cold. Warm puffs of cloud blew from her mouth when she breathed. There was no answer to her knock, though she thought she heard movement from inside the room. She knocked again, a little harder.

“By the Eight, what is it?” came an annoyed, husky voice. The door flung open, and then Ancano loomed in the doorway, looking cross. When he saw her, there was a short moment where he looked surprised and pleased before he remembered to be annoyed with her. “You,” he said.

Astrid only shrugged.

Ancano glanced around the hall, checking that no one was watching. Then he stepped aside, gesturing for her to enter.

She stepped into the center of the room, which was a good deal warmer than outside. She let go of her cloak, instead clasping her hands behind her. She turned to look sidelong at Ancano as he shut the door behind her. His eyes were drooping with sleepiness. She’d woken him up.

He looked at her, puzzled. For a while it seemed as if he was trying to decide what to say. In the end, he decided not to say anything at all. He came to her suddenly and put one hand around her waist and the other behind her neck, and kissed her. Astrid made a small sound of surprise. She grabbed onto him to keep from falling over in the sudden attack. She suspected that had been exactly his intention. Every movement he made seemed calculated to overwhelm and arouse her. The closeness of his body was intoxicating. The warmth of him pressed up against her and the eagerness of his lips over hers made her weak in the knees.

Her mind was already hazy with desire by the time he pulled away. He looked down at her, a superior look in his eyes. He frowned, and held her at arm’s length. “Do all Nord women do this?” he asked.

“Do...what?” Astrid said apprehensively.

“Play prudish and aloof in public, only to secretly throw themselves into bed with anyone who will call their bluff and put them in their place.”

Astrid stared at him. Before she could think of the words to properly express her disgust, he had gone to pick up something from the bed. He brought it back to her with an arrogant smile. The handcuffs.

“Again?” Astrid asked skeptically.

“You liked it last time, didn’t you?”

She looked at the metal cuffs doubtfully as a tingle of arousal stirred in her belly. She had rather liked them. Maybe she was a pervert.

“Alright,” Astrid said reluctantly, but as she spoke she felt little pang of regret. This felt nothing like it had before. Before, he had swept her off her feet. He’d surprised her with his care and selflessness in bed. He had even held off talking down to her for the length of the event--which, Astrid thought, should not have been nearly as difficult as he seemed to think it was. He was so close to being perfect, and yet so very far from it.

Suddenly all her desire for him had gone, and she regretted coming there at all. More than regret--she was angry. Angry at herself for letting herself be tempted into coming there, and angry at him for being so much less than she wished he was.

Ancano held the cuffs out for her to put her wrists in. Just behind him was the bed.

Slowly her eyes moved up to his face. He was looking down at her with a questioning impatience, now. The look triggered something in her. She was tired of him looking at her like that.

She put her hands on his chest and pushed him backwards as she grabbed the handcuffs from him. He must have thought her only desperate with lust, because he grinned and didn’t fight her as she pushed him. She knocked him backwards onto the bed and looped the chain around the headboard, and by the time she’d locked the cuffs around his wrists, it was too late.

He frowned as he realized his hands were bound to the end of the bed, in the same place he’d bound her before.

The chain clinked against the metal of the headboard. He looked at her, the beginnings of surprised confusion on his face. “What are you doing?” he asked slowly.

Astrid scrambled off the bed, hardly believing what she’d just done, or that it had worked. She half expected him to break out of the cuffs--perhaps the enchantment wasn’t strong enough to hold him. But, judging by the growing horror and fury on his face, that was not the case.

“You dare?” he whispered, aghast.

Astrid began to relax. She had him. There was nothing he could do to her, until he got out of those cuffs. She gave a small, satisfied laugh.

“Release me at once!” Ancano said, balling his hands into ineffectual fists. “ _Astrid!_ ” he roared.

“Someone will hear you,” she said calmly, glancing at the door. She walked around the bed to stand over him, arms crossed. She couldn’t help staring. The view of him chained on the bed pleased her immensely. “It would be quite embarrassing if someone came in and found you like this, wouldn’t it?”

Ancano seethed. “Uncuff me at once,” he said, forcing his voice lower, “and if you do it fast enough, I might be generous and refrain from killing you when I get out of here.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t uncuff you at all then,” Astrid said, raising her eyebrows. “I don’t want to be killed. Maybe I should just leave you here to rot. Do you think anyone will bother to come looking for you?”

His eyes narrowed at her as he tried to decide how serious she was. A bit of apprehension showed in his eyes.

Astrid paced beside the bed, thinking, as she looked at him. “Or maybe…” She glared at him, remembering the threat he’d made to her when he’d trapped her that night in the hall. “I should just set you on fire?”

All trace of haughty anger disappeared from his face as Astrid conjured a small, whirling flame in her upturned hand. It slowly grew larger and wilder as she pumped more magicka into it.

“I’m no master of destruction magic like you, I’m sure,” she said. “But it burns just as well, even when it’s conjured by a stupid human girl.”

For the first time, she saw real fear in him. “Astrid,” he said, “I was never really going to—”

She snapped her fist closed, and the flame disappeared. “Or some of the other students and I could drag you out into town. I wonder what all those drunks in the inn would like to do with a lone Dominion lackey. Surely nothing good.”

Ancano just looked at her, dismayed. It occurred to Astrid that she was more right than she’d realized--he was all alone here. He was stuck in a remote part of a foreign country, and the closest Thalmor outpost might have been a hundred miles or more away. He had no one him to help him if he was in trouble. No one to even talk to. She had to wonder what he’d done to get sent to a place like this. Had it been a punishment? She felt a small pang of sadness for him, only for a moment.

She turned and wandered to the other side of the room, where a number of his things lay out on tables and shelves.

“ _Astrid_ ,” Ancano hissed.

She ignored him, and began browsing through a stack of potions on a high shelf.

“What are you doing?”

“Do be quiet, for once,” she said absently. She picked up the potions one by one, examining their labels. She expected them to have dreadful things inside, but most of them were things like medicines and magicka replenishing elixirs. She could hear him rattling the chain against the iron bar he was tethered to, trying to squeeze loose from the cuffs.

“Do you ever do any real work here, or do you spend all your time chasing girls around the College?” she asked. He didn’t answer. She opened a wardrobe, revealing several neatly hung sets of the same black uniform. She had always liked that uniform, even if the sight of it always set her on edge. It was unfortunate that such a nice design was associated with people like him.

Ancano had gone quiet behind her. She looked over her shoulder at him. He’d stopped trying to escape and was staring, morose, at the ceiling. Astrid turned back to the cabinet, and spotted a book at the bottom of it. She picked it up and examined the black leather cover. It was the blank book he’d been writing in when he’d questioned her.

“How much trouble would you be in if your superiors found out what’s happening right now?” she said.

He remained quiet as she opened the book. It was filled with elegant, flowing handwriting. All of it, to her dismay, was in Altmeris. She flipped through it anyway, until she spotted her own name at the top of a page. Under it were a few indecipherable notes. One word was underlined for emphasis. She looked back at Ancano suspiciously, closing the book. She set it down on the table. She didn’t know what she’d expected to find among his things, but she’d hoped it would be something more interesting. There was nothing much sinister or mysterious here.

“Are you giving me the silent treatment?” she asked.

“You told me to be quiet,” he muttered.

“Since when do you do as a lowly Nord tells you?”

“Since one chained me up, I suppose.”

She walked over to stand over him again. The initial thrill of having him at her mercy was wearing off, and now she was beginning to wonder what action she could take next that would have the least disastrous results.

“If you kill me, someone will come looking for me,” Ancano warned her calmly, still staring at the ceiling. His face was drawn, and his jaw tense. “There will be consequences.”

She sat down on the edge of the bed. She looked down at him, watching the warm, sharp light of the fire playing over the lines and curves of his face.

“Do you really think you’re better than us?” she said.

He looked up at her with an expression that she couldn’t quite read, his brows slightly furrowed.

Astrid hadn’t really expected a reply. She shook her head. Everyone from the Dominion thought that everyone else was beneath them. A part of her was surprised he’d deigned to even touch a human, and a common one at that. Surely she was somehow tainting him by doing so. Perhaps that was why he'd been so insistent about that after-sex potion.

“It’s a shame that you’re so beautiful on the outside,” she murmured bitterly. “Because you’re awful on the inside, aren't you?”

Again, he gave no reply. If the words angered him, he did not show it, except for a very slight darkening of his expression.

The tiny silver key to the handcuffs lay on the end table near the bed. Astrid picked it up, and turned it over in her hands for a moment as she looked at him.

There was nothing she could do to ensure that he’d leave her alone after this. She could not threaten him, because after tonight, he would never allow her to hold this kind of power over him again. He would probably laugh at any attempt she made to intimidate him.

But of course she couldn’t kill him. That had never been an option.

She placed the key delicately on his chest. His eyes followed her every movement, unblinking. She went to the door to leave before she could change her mind. She stopped with her hand on the handle, and turned back to him.

“I came up here because I wanted to fuck you, you know. If you could manage to be a little less insufferable, that’s what we’d be doing right now.”

He looked at her like he thought she had likely lost her mind. Perhaps she had. She left, leaving him to find his way out of the cuffs.


	7. Chapter 7

“Astrid,” came a whisper from beside her.

Astrid paused, mid-spell, to glance up at Valyra. They were in class, practicing fire spells after having watched a demonstration by one of the advanced students. They all stood side by side in a line, facing a line of targets at the other end of the room.

“I heard that something happened yesterday,” Valyra said.

“Something?” Astrid said carefully. As far as she knew, nothing had come of her actions the previous night. No one knew what had gone on. But she didn’t know how long that would last.

“With you and Dominion Arsehole over there,” she said, nodding discreetly behind them.

Astrid tried not to react. She looked over her shoulder at Ancano. He leaned against the wall at the back of the room, looking more bored and irritable than ever. There were dark circles under his eyes. He’d been resolutely not looking at her, which was fine by her. He hadn’t immediately come to kill her after he’d freed himself, which was a relief.

“He yelled at you?” Valyra said, dark eyebrows raised in concern and intrigue. “In the library?”

“Oh,” Astrid said, relieved that the darker of her secrets were still hidden. “It was nothing.”

“Are you okay?”

“Fine. He doesn’t scare me.”

“He can’t treat us like that.” Valyra shot another glare in Ancano’s direction. “What is he doing here, anyway? Why is he allowed to stay, after all this?”

Astrid shrugged. She gathered a particularly large ball of fire and shot it across the room at her target, grunting with the effort. The target, enchanted with magicka resistance, dissolved the flame instantly, but wobbled a little from the impact. A few of the students nearby jumped in surprise.

“Take it easy, Astrid,” said Tolfdir from the other side of the room. “We are practicing control here, not power.”

“Sorry,” she said, lowering her hands.

Valyra’s own flame hovered in her hands, uncast. She leaned in toward Astrid. “We’re trying to get him kicked from the College,” she said.

Astrid’s eyebrows went up.

“He threatened S’Rasha the other day after she wouldn’t explain her work to him, and Arven said he accused him of being a Stormcloak sympathizer. We shouldn’t have to put up with this while we’re trying to work, honestly!”

“We can’t kick him out without causing a political fuss,” Astrid said.

“And since when is the College concerned with causing a fuss?” Valyra said.

“All the more reason to keep a low profile. We don’t need any more trouble than we’ve already got. If you think he’s a distraction now, whatever comes after him will probably be worse.”

“Hm,” Valyra said, unconvinced but lacking a counterargument.

They both looked over their shoulders again. This time, Ancano looked over at them, with only his eyes. They narrowed slightly in suspicion.

Valyra turned back to her target, twirling the fire in her hands. “Arsehole,” she muttered.

* * *

A week passed, and Astrid saw little more of Ancano. When she did see him, he went out of his way to avoid her. It seemed that she had finally scared him away--which, while not what she had originally expected or intended, was far from the worst consequence that could have resulted from what she’d done. She was content enough to go on with her life as before, although a small part of her regretted what could have been. Usually, that part of her only surfaced late at night.

So she was taken by surprise when, one evening, she became aware of a characteristic dark presence approaching her table in the library again. She looked up, and found him looking down at her, narrow-eyed. She stiffened. She had been fearing this moment since she’d left him on the bed that night.

But they were in the library. It was not crowded, but there were a few other students sitting nearby. He couldn’t do anything to her here. Urag looked up at him, already visibly irritated by his presence, but didn’t say anything.

Ancano glanced up at the others, noting their presence, before returning his gaze to her. “Hello,” he said. He waited. Astrid stared at him, uncertain.

“Hello,” she said finally. The word went up a little at the end, forming a question.

He gave a small nod. “May I sit?”

He did not look like someone who wanted her dead. She had imagined a number of ways he might approach her after what had happened the other night, but this had never been one of them. She shrugged. 

Taking that as invitation enough, he sat down across from her. He folded his hands on the table. He opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. “I have taken your points into consideration.”

“My points?”

“From our...discussion, the other day,” he said. “I believe you meant to bring it to my attention that I may have been...less courteous to you than I should have been.”

Astrid stared at him, still stiff and apprehensive. “Yes, I suppose I did,” she said.

He looked away, his eyes darting around in the shadows as if he were searching them for the right words. His voice was very low, so only she could hear, and it came slow and careful, as if being civil were a physical strain on him. “I...regret making threats. Which I never intended to carry out,” he clarified quickly. “I only wanted to scare you. I know that I scare people. I have grown accustomed to using that to my advantage, and...perhaps that may have been inappropriate, in this particular instance.” He looked up at her, a little defensively.

“It’s the uniform that scares people here, not you,” Astrid said.

He only raised an eyebrow at her, perhaps not understanding the distinction.

As soon as Astrid got over her shock at his admission, she grew annoyed. She leaned forward. “How do I know you didn’t intend to?” she said caustically. “How do I know you don’t still intend to do that?”

“You do not. You will have to take my word for it.”

“Your word isn’t worth much to me.”

He looked angry for a moment--his reflexive reaction to being insulted. But he didn’t yell this time. “That is...not completely unfair,” he admitted.

“So you came here to apologize?” Astrid asked, still not quite believing it.

He hesitated, then gave a single nod.

“Say it, then.”

“Did I not already?”

“No. Say the words to me.”

He slipped and rolled his eyes, only a little. “I...apologize.”

“For what?”

“For threatening you.” He paused. “And, for anything else I did to hurt you. It was not my intention.” He lowered his voice even more and said, almost contritely, “I do not often interact with people I am not giving orders to.” He folded and unfolded his hands, glancing around the library again. He looked like he already regretted speaking that last part.

Astrid was struck dumb for a few moments, still not quite believing what she was hearing. “I would never kill someone. I was just angry,” she said. She wanted him to know that. She didn’t want him to think himself morally above her.

Ancano nodded slowly, looking a little relieved.

Astrid still could not reconcile the change in attitude with the way he’d been before. “Why are you really here?” she asked. “What do you hope to gain by telling me this?”

He looked a little amused and exasperated then. “I hope to gain your favor,” he said, as if it were obvious--and perhaps it was. “I would like to see you again,” he said, very solemn. There was no flirtation in the request, only wariness and disappointment and embarrassment.

“You would?”

“Yes.”

“And, if I refuse?”

“I...thought you probably would.” He looked unhappy, but not surprised.

Astrid thought. “What about those questions you were asking me before? Your investigations?”

“That doesn’t matter.”

“What do you mean it doesn’t matter? That’s the whole reason you’re at the College, isn’t it?”

“Yes, well, the situation has changed, and I value you more as a companion than as an enemy.”

She raised her eyebrows at him in surprise. “And what would your superiors think about that?”

“They wouldn’t care to think anything about it, I expect. I’ve got the freedom to work toward my objectives in whatever way I think best. There is nothing wrong with building positive relationships with people at the College. That is the goal, here. Part of it, at least.”

Astrid continued to stare at him, unconvinced.

He sighed. “For Auri-El’s sake, I’ve got nothing else to do here, anyway. Can’t a mer be granted one small joy in life?”

And there, she saw it again. That trace of humanity leaking through his carefully constructed mask of power and indifference. It was almost enough to tempt her not to hate him.

“In any case, I can see now that you are not relevant to my investigations. I knew there was something off about you--it just was not what I expected. It’s not that you’re the type of person who might be plotting against the College. It’s that you’re the type of person who will sleep with someone and then handcuff them and threaten to kill them.”

Astrid stiffened, casting a glance around at the other students. No one was close enough to hear him. “Alright,” she said, slowly taking in all of his thoughts. “So you’ll leave me alone, if I ask you to? No more questions or...anything else?”

“If that is what you want.”

She sat back in her chair. “I would be rather foolish to agree to see you again,” she said quietly. “I was rather foolish to agree to it the first time.”

He frowned at her, but said nothing.

“You shouldn’t talk to me in public again,” Astrid said. “People are going to talk.”

“I agree. But I thought you wouldn’t want me to…‘corner’ you again, either.”

He was right. Astrid might have simply run from him if he’d caught her alone. She wondered if he really meant everything he’d said. Would this conversation have gone the same way if they’d been alone?

“I will leave you alone, then,” he said, and got to his feet to leave her. Astrid almost stopped him, but held her tongue at the last moment. It was probably for the best.


	8. Chapter 8

Astrid was surprised to find that he’d meant what he said. 

He didn’t so much as look at her after that. He did not try to talk to her again. Astrid’s hands no longer shook nervously in class, even when he was there. It was almost as if none of this had ever happened. 

Almost, except for how she couldn’t stop thinking about him. And the longer she went without him, the worse it got. She still had uncomfortable, skin-prickling dreams about him. When she touched herself, the image of his face in her mind was what would push her over the edge. And whenever she caught sight of him around the college, her breath caught in her throat. 

Her fear of him was gone, for better or worse--and that left only a hunger that her mother would have denounced as distinctly unladylike. It made her wonder if she’d made a mistake in encouraging him not to pursue her. Perhaps, she thought bitterly, he’d known how hopelessly in lust with him she was, and this had been his intention all along. He wanted her to come crawling back to him. She would not give him that satisfaction. 

One day, she spotted him coming back from the baths in the basement just as she was going to bathe. She stood frozen at the far side of the large hallway, and watched him with an almost painful want that stuck deep in her core. He was clothed in a dark set of trousers and an undershirt, covered with a warmer robe atop it. His hair was still damp and dripping very slightly. Distracted with his own thoughts, he walked by without noticing her. 

There was something about seeing him out of uniform that made her want to go to him. It was ridiculous, she told herself, that something as simple as wet hair would fascinate her so much. But there was something so mortal about it. It reminded her of other parts of him that were painfully, beautifully, mortal. 

Carefully ignoring the voice in her head that demanded she show any common sense or self-control, she found herself knocking on his door again a few nights later. 

He answered the door without yelling this time, although it was apparent that she’d woken him up again. Astrid gave him a defensive stare. As if to reassure him that she could leave whenever she wanted. As if to reassure him that she’d only come here on a whim, and not because she’d been thinking about him all day every day since they’d last talked. Ancano raised a confused eyebrow, and it was clear that he had truly thought that their liaisons were finished. 

“Don’t say anything obnoxious,” she said as she pushed into the room, before he had a chance to ruin the moment. She shut the door behind her. His beautiful lips began to curl into a smile, cautiously triumphant, but he didn’t say anything. Perhaps that was the safest choice. 

Astrid grabbed him by his collar, pulled him into her, and kissed him. He stumbled, surprised. For once, he was the one caught off-guard. But then his hands were on her, weaving in her hair and around her waist, pulling her hips against him. His fist pulled gently in her hair, guiding her head as his mouth worked hers. He pushed her backwards until she hit the wall, and kissed her against it. She relaxed into his grip, enjoying the the strength and care of his hands. How had she managed to go so long without this? 

Finally she put her hands on his chest to push him away, gasping for air. “Take off my clothes,” she whispered hurriedly. He happily obliged, though he had trouble taking his hands off her long enough to accomplish the task. He leaned in close to her, resting his head on her shoulder as his hands closed around her round, pale breasts. A shock of arousal went through her, from his touch straight to the core of her sex. A small, wordless sound escaped her lips. 

Astrid fumbled with the fastenings on his robe. He quickly shifted to assist, and she barely had time to admire his naked form before he had closed in again, slipping a hand between her legs. She sucked in a breath as he slid a finger inside her. He paused, pulling back to look at her in surprise as he felt her slick skin. He hadn’t expected her to be so wet already. Astrid raised her eyebrows, as if to ask what he was going to do about it. 

His hands moved under her thighs. She gasped in surprise as he picked her up and pinned her to the wall. The chill of the stone burned her skin, but at that moment she hardly cared. She wrapped her arms tight around his neck and her legs around his waist to hold herself up as he moved his hands under her. 

His cock pressed against her, and for a moment she felt a pang of guilt and embarrassment over her lack of self-control. She hadn’t been able to keep herself from coming back here a third time. She shouldn’t have been doing this. If someone had told her a year ago that she would be letting a Thalmor bastard like Ancano fuck her in a year’s time, she would have called them a liar and worse. Yet here she was. 

But as he slipped inside her, all of those thoughts went away--there was no room for them, because every space in her mind was taken up by her animal hunger. She tensed and gasped as he pushed slowly inside her. His breath was heavy and hot in her ear. His grip tightened around her buttocks as he slid out of her, then back in, deeper this time. Astrid tightened her arms around his neck as he filled her, wanting all of him closer still. The cold of the wall pressed in on her from behind, and the heat of his body pressed against her front, trapping her in between. 

He was, perhaps, less gentle than the last time, which Astrid found exciting and refreshing rather than unpleasant. 

Her orgasm came suddenly, rising up out of nowhere and overtaking her. Her arms tightened around his shoulders as she drank in the sensation. He moaned, animalistic, in her ear as he ejaculated. It was even better than she remembered. 

He held her there for a few seconds, reluctant to end the moment, savoring the feeling of being inside her. Finally, he set her down. She leaned against him, trying to absorb his warmth. Her legs shook weakly. 

“Cold,” she whispered. 

He put a hand up to steady himself against the wall--he was shaking, too. He pointed to the bed. Astrid went to it, and collapsed into the soft blankets and pillows that smelled faintly like him. 

Before she could protest, he'd climbed behind her and hugged her, pressing her icy skin to his chest. It was a strange sensation. Somehow it seemed more intimate than anything else they’d done. Astrid tensed slightly--she was not sure whether she should appreciate his forwardness in this respect--and almost told him off. 

Reluctantly, she closed her eyes instead. She relaxed into the softness of the bed, and the warmth of his embrace. It felt good. 

She stayed there at least ten minutes--a little too long, she felt--but she got up before he did. She went to her clothes, which were crumpled and scattered by the door, and quickly dressed. When she turned around, Ancano was just finishing putting on his things. He went to the line of potions on his shelf, and picked out a familiar vial. He brought it back to Astrid, then watched her drink it. 

She looked up at him as she handed the empty vial back to him. “You’re quiet,” she said, raising an eyebrow suspiciously. He hadn’t said a word since she’d come in. 

He shrugged. His eyes were sleepy and relaxed in a way that Astrid found quite alluring, though she was sure it was unintentional. She’d had nightmares about those eyes looking at her, only a few weeks ago. Now she could hardly bring herself to look away from them. 

“I seem to end up better off that way,” he said. He looked down at her, a little sheepishly. “I’m sorry it was so...short. I was a little more impatient than usual.” 

She did not fail to notice how much easier the apology came out now than it had in the library a few days ago. “Well. It was long enough for me to get what I needed,” she said. Ancano smiled, amused and self-satisfied, and she flushed. “I should go,” she said. 

He looked like he wanted to say something else. He only smiled, instead. 


	9. Chapter 9

She only managed to hold out a few days before winding her way up the now-familiar stairs to Ancano’s room again. 

But as she was going up, she ran into him coming down. There was an annoyed crease between his eyebrows, but when he looked up and saw her, it went away. He stopped. Astrid climbed another few steps so that she was standing level with him. She paused, listening to make sure there was no one else nearby. 

“I would like to see you again,” she said quietly. 

He gave her a conspiratorial smirk. “That can be arranged,” he said, looking over his shoulder. “But right now I must speak to the Arch-Mage.” 

“Now?” she asked. Perhaps he did do real work occasionally, after all. But she had not expected him to be out at this hour. It was earlier than she usually came to see him, but still late in the evening. 

“It is a matter of some importance. And I don’t trust the Arch-Mage to make a half-intelligent decision about anything without me. Gods know how people here ever got anything done before I got here.” 

“Hm,” Astrid said, generously avoiding argument. 

Ancano reached into a pocket and pulled forth a long brass key. “Wait in my room. I won’t be long.” 

“Wait in your room? Alone?” she asked. She’d have assumed that would be against some Thalmor rules. 

“If you can manage to refrain from digging through my things again,” he said, giving her a disapproving look. 

She smiled, and took the key from him. 

“I wouldn’t try it, if I were you,” he said. He raised an eyebrow, daring her. He gave her a last appreciative leer, then clasped his hands behind his back and turned to continue down the stairs. 

Astrid watched him go, then climbed the rest of the way up the staircase. She slipped the key into the lock on his door, and stepped inside the room. 

She studied the room as she closed the door behind her. It was strange, being there alone. It was dark, and cool. Ancano had put out the fire before he’d left. Astrid walked to the fireplace and pointed her hand at it, shooting a gout of flame into the half-burned logs until they caught. Then she lit the candles that served as lighting for the windowless room. Mage lights were just as easy, but she found their cold blue-green light less pleasant than firelight. 

She meandered over to the corner with the shelves and the desk, telling herself that she was only looking, not digging. Her eyes lit with excitement when she saw his notebook lying out on his desk, and she considered opening it, just for a peek. It was written in Altmeris, but there were Altmeris dictionaries in the library. If she could memorize the notes he’d made under her name… 

Then she looked closer, and spotted a faint dusting of magicka glittering over the desk. There was a similar glitter over the bottom drawer of the wardrobe. It would have been easy to miss, if you were not attuned to magic or were not paying close attention. She did not know how to make such magical traps, but she recognized one when she saw it. It would probably explode if she got too close. By the look of it, she guessed it was a frost spell. Being a Nord, frost magic was not terribly dangerous to her. It would be enough to hurt, but not to maim. 

Ancano had put the traps there specifically for her, she had no doubt, to teach her a lesson if she tried a repeat of what had happened last time.

“Hmph,” she said, frowning and smiling at the same time. She had to respect his forethought. She shook her head, and moved on. 

She was sitting on the bed with a book she’d taken from an un-trapped section of his bookshelf when she heard the door open again. Ancano stepped inside, and his eyes went straight to her, then to the untouched desk in the corner, then back to her. Astrid closed the book. 

“You’re still dressed,” Ancano said, disappointed. 

“It’s not exactly a sauna in here,” Astrid said with a shrug. There was a pause. When they were fucking, everything seemed to come so naturally. It was everything else that always felt awkward and disjointed. 

“What did you talk to the Arch-Mage about?” she asked as he hung his jacket neatly in the wardrobe. 

He took a moment to answer, maybe wondering how much he should tell her. “Fenris,” he said finally. 

“Fenris?” Astrid said, surprised. “I’d nearly forgotten about him.” 

“Yes, well, I did not.” He closed the wardrobe and came to stand in front of her, arms crossed. “There was some kind of magical explosion outside Winterhold yesterday. I believe the item he stole from the College was the cause of it.” 

Astrid raised her eyebrows in concern. “I didn’t hear anything about that.” 

“No. It’s not for the students to concern themselves over.” He brought a hand to her cheek, brushing her hair away from her face. “But we’re not here to talk about Fenris.” 

She brought her own hand to his wrist to still his hand. “Actually,” she said, “there was something...specific...that I wanted to do this time.” 

He waited, intrigued. “Yes?” 

“The handcuffs,” she said. 

Ancano started to smile. 

“I want to put them on you,” Astrid finished. 

His smile froze, half-formed. “On me?” 

She nodded slowly, eyebrows up. 

“Er…” Ancano lowered his hand to his side. Astrid waited, watching the medley of discomfort and annoyance playing over his face. “Why?” he asked. He was still suspicious of her, after everything that had happened. She couldn’t blame him. She felt the same way about him, after all. 

“Because…” She hesitated. She couldn’t pinpoint exactly what about it appealed to her. She only knew that it did, very much so. “Because I would enjoy it,” she finished simply. The mere suggestion of it turned her on. She had no doubt that her eagerness showed on her face. There was no point in trying to hide it. 

He studied her, watching her for some unknown cue. She couldn’t have said what he was looking for. He shook his head, looking away. “I don't think so.” 

“You don’t trust me?” 

He laughed. “Of course not. I don’t trust anyone. Nords least of all.” 

Astrid crossed her arms. “I think it’s fair to say that if there’s anyone here you can trust enough to participate in slightly dangerous sex acts with, it’s me.” 

He pressed his lips together, chewing them as he considered her. “I suppose you are something of an exception,” he admitted. 

“And it’s only fair for it to go both ways,” Astrid pressed. “If you don’t like it, you can say so, and I’ll unlock you. There’s nothing to be afraid of.” 

“I am not afraid,” he said stiffly. He paused conspicuously, and Astrid knew he was searching for a reasonable-sounding excuse. “I am just not sure it will be good for you. I can’t do much, with my hands bound.” 

“That’s the idea,” Astrid said. She smiled mischievously. “Anyway, your hands are lovely, but you’ve got a perfectly good tongue, as well.” 

Ancano looked at her blankly. Unexpectedly, color rose to his face. “You want me to…use my tongue?” 

Astrid nearly laughed aloud at how scandalized he looked. She quickly backpedaled. “Well, if you don’t want to…” 

“No,” he interjected. “I mean, yes. But--You don’t think it’s...?” 

“What?” 

He faltered. His lips were set tight as he contemplated her suggestion. “Well…maybe things are different here. In Summerset, people do not use their mouths. Not like that.” 

“Are you putting me on?” 

Ancano only stared at her in response. Astrid could not rid her face of her shaky, anticipatory smile. 

“I’ll do it,” Ancano said suddenly. He retrieved the handcuffs from a drawer, then brought them back and offered them to her. Astrid took them from him. The metal was icy in her hands. 

She looked up at him, biting her lip to suppress a grin. “You should undress.” 

He nodded, and turned away. He looked uncertain, but not so much so that he’d changed his mind. Astrid watched him from behind as he shed his clothes. She scarcely blinked for fear that she might miss something. She quickly looked away when he turned to face her again, embarrassed despite herself. 

“Lie down,” she said. 

He obliged, stretching out slowly on the bed. Astrid sat down beside him. He watched her as she closed one of the cuffs around his wrist. She stretched his arms over his head so that she could wind the chain around one of the bars on the headboard, then closed the other cuff on his other wrist, locking him in. 

He shifted uncomfortably in the restraints. His chest rose and fell as he took a nervous breath. 

“Are you alright?” Astrid said. 

His eyes narrowed slightly. “Yes.” 

“I won’t hurt you. You don’t need to worry.” 

“I am not a child.” 

“Of course,” Astrid said. She stared down at him, unable to break her eyes away. She looked at his arms pinned above him, at his perfect hair splayed about his head and shoulders, at his eyes looking back at her with mistrust and anticipation. 

She bent down abruptly, and pressed her lips over his as her hand closed around his throat. The placement of her hand served the double purpose of holding him in place, and of reminding him of his vulnerable position. He went very rigid, recoiling slightly under her touch as she kissed him, like he was still deciding whether he liked it. Then a small shiver went through him. He did not relax, exactly, but he surrendered to her touch. It would take time for him to get used to having their roles reversed. It was clear this wasn’t something he’d had much experience with--which, for some reason, aroused Astrid even further. 

She pulled back to take a breath, and let her eyes wander over his body. “It’s a crime that you’re ever clothed,” she said, gaining a little confidence now. 

“I don’t think anyone else would approve of it if I walked around naked.” 

“I don’t care what they approve of.” She lifted a hand to drag her fingertips over his ribs. Goosebumps followed where she touched. The chain clinked as he shifted again. She spared a look at his face. He stared up at the ceiling as her fingers brushed over his skin--his stomach, and then his chest, his shoulders, his neck. 

“Can I tell you something?” he said quietly. 

Astrid looked up, curious. Her hand came to rest in the thin hair above his loins. “What?” 

His pelvis twitched slightly at the touch. “When you had me like this the other day, I did find myself somewhat...excited by the situation.” 

Astrid’s brows lifted. 

“It was not an experience I’ve had before. But...I did not hate it.” 

“The feeling of being afraid and aroused at once,” Astrid said. “I know that feeling.” 

He only nodded slightly, as if afraid of voicing affirmation. 

“So you enjoy it?” Astrid prodded, trying to resist the desire to gloat. “Giving someone else control over you?” 

He hesitated, frowning at her--not knowing or not wanting to speak the answer. 

“Should we find out?” She moved her hand down, and closed it around his soft shaft. He made a small sound, and tried to keep a straight face as she began gently stroking it. 

There was a simple joy in watching it slowly grow and harden under her touch--the joy of knowing that his body’s reaction had been solely caused by her. The muscles in his thighs and stomach twitched and flexed as she stroked, while he made small, pathetic sounds. 

“Astrid?” 

She turned. He was looking up at her with half-lidded eyes. His hands were balled into fists, and his entire body was tense with arousal. 

“I want to...use my...tongue,” he said, between small gasps. “Before I…” 

Astrid’s heart fluttered. She pulled off her clothes, one article after another. It took far too long, even in her hurry. Perhaps it would have been more alluring to do it slowly--to make him wait as long as possible for gratification. But she herself didn’t have the patience for that particular torture, at the moment. 

She climbed up to straddle Ancano’s chest. She hesitated. She’d never done this before. But she had him tied down and waiting for her. There was no better time than now. 

“Should I just—?” she began, suddenly uncertain and a little embarrassed. 

Ancano rolled his eyes. A little pang of annoyance jolted her into action. 

Without further hesitation, she moved forward, placing her knees on either side of his head. From the angle she was at now, she could only see his eyes. He looked up at her, and then she felt his tongue come out and and brush her clit. She jumped. Ancano’s eyes crinkled a little at the corners as he smiled. His tongue came out again, dragging hard against her this time. 

“Oh—” she whispered. “Oh, yes. Keep doing that.” 

It seemed that his skill with his fingers also translated to skill with his lips and tongue. He stumbled a bit at first, but then he was hitting all the right spots, never in a pattern she expected--up and down her slit, then around in broad strokes, hard near the bottom and light at the top again. She squirmed, gripping the headboard for support. That only made him more enthusiastic. He lifted his head to reach further, pressing his face into her. 

“Oh Talos, that’s too much...” she murmured. She’d been planning to pull away before she came, but now it was too late. She pushed herself into him, rocking slightly as he rubbed the flat of his tongue into her. Her thighs tensed reflexively. A tingling of pleasure bloomed inside her, spreading all through her in a great crescendo. She gasped as she came, leaning heavily on the headboard as she squeezed him with her thighs. 

As the waves of orgasmic pleasure began to wear off, Ancano’s fists opened and waved in her face, trying to get her attention. He couldn’t breathe, she realized. She hurriedly backed off of him, stifling a laugh. “Sorry,” she said breathlessly. He didn’t seem to mind much. He wouldn’t stop looking smug as she wiped his face with her discarded robe. She sat back, studying him. He was still extremely erect. 

She sat between his legs and placed a delicate hand on his cock, making sure he had a full view of her face and breasts. He took a deep breath as she closed her hand around him and stroked slowly downward. She took both hands, then, and stroked him up and down until his member was throbbing and twitching. 

Then, abruptly, she pulled her hands away. 

Ancano, whose head had been thrown back on the pillow with ecstasy, looked up to see what had made her stop. She smiled innocently, resting her hands idly on his thighs. He sighed. His cock wobbled as he shifted his hips. “Don’t play games with me, Astrid.” 

“Oh? Suddenly you don’t like games?” She dragged her fingertips along his shaft, just brushing the tip. He didn’t answer. She wrapped her hand around it again, stroking fully over the head and then down again. She kept going until his back was arching and he was making small, irrepressible grunts. Then she took her hands away. 

Ancano sighed and glared up at her. “Astrid!” 

“What?” 

He looked pained. “That’s enough. Please, just finish it. Don’t torture me.”

“This isn’t torture,” she said with a grin. “This is fun.” 

Ancano groaned. 

She rubbed her thumb just under the head of his cock. His hips rolled and he moaned. She quickly took her hand away, instead brushing it lightly against his shaft. His hands pulled the chain on his wrists taut. 

“Astrid…” he whined, breathing hard. “Please. I’m begging you.” 

She smiled. “Are you?” she said, dragging her hand lightly along his shaft, brushing his thigh with her other hand. “Begging?” 

He glared up at her, furious at her for putting him through this humiliation. 

She could tell he loved it. 

“Yes,” he said, his voice shaking. “I’m begging you.” His voice grew more breathy, more far away--like he was in a trance. “Please let me come.” 

“I don’t know…” Astrid said, teasing her fingers over him. She looked up toward the ceiling, as if considering. “Perhaps I could use a little more buttering up…”

Ancano gave a small gasp of frustration. “You’re…” he studied her, and looked like he was struggling to think straight. “You’re...beautiful. Smart. Strong. Perfection. I don’t deserve you.” 

She looked him straight on, her hands still for a moment as she forgot herself. She had kept the suggestion vague, curious what his reply would be. She had not expected him to sound this sincere. 

“You have me,” he said dreamily. “I will do anything you ask.” 

Astrid swallowed hard. Perhaps she should have taken him up on the offer, but right then all she wanted was to see the look on his face when he came. 

“Well...since you asked nicely,” she said, straining to feign disinterest. 

He watched as she bent and brushed her lips against the tip of his cock. She let her tongue slide over it, and he gave a small gasp. Then she slid it into her mouth. Ancano’s head went back on the pillow again, his chest rising and falling heavily. 

Astrid wasn’t well practiced at this, but it didn’t seem to matter. She slid up and down him, following with her hand as she did. And then, suddenly, hot ejaculate was shooting into her mouth. She swallowed, trying not to choke. 

“ _ Oh gods _ ,” she heard Ancano murmur. His body was tense and shaking, his hips moving to pump slowly into the warmth of her mouth. 

When she’d milked everything out of him, she sat back to catch her breath. He was already softening. 

Ancano’s breathing steadily slowed. His eyes were closed, and he was lying limp, as if asleep, except that his arms were still stretched out above him. Astrid still felt a surge of attraction go through her when she looked at the metal around his wrists. Why did this view of him affect her so? 

She fell onto the bed beside him, taking a well-deserved rest. It was silent, except for their soft breathing. After a while, Ancano began to shift in his chains again. 

“Will you unlock me?” 

Reluctantly, Astrid picked up the key from the end table and got on her knees to reach his wrists. The cuffs fell off of him. Ancano didn’t move except to rub his hands, trying to bring the warmth back into them. He stared up at the ceiling for a long time, distant. 

“So...?” Astrid said tentatively. 

He glanced up at her, a little self-conscious. It was an odd expression to see on him. “What?” he asked. 

She nodded to the handcuffs. “You liked it?” 

A number of conflicting emotions played on his face. The most dominant one was annoyance.  “Do you not find it off-putting?” he said quietly. 

Her eyebrows pinched together, concerned. Perhaps he had not liked it after all? “Do you find it off-putting when it’s the other way around?” 

“No,” he said questioningly, seeming not to understand her point. 

“Then you think it’s only right for women to be passive, and not men?” 

“No.” 

“Only for humans and not elves, then?” 

“No,” he said again, irritated by her suggestions now. “But…” He had no follow-up argument. 

“It is the opposite of off-putting,” Astrid assured him, with a hint of longing already. She felt a flush rising in her cheeks. 

His face softened as he read her expression. He could not question her sincerity. “I want to do this again,” he admitted. 

Astrid could not hide her delight. She looked away. “Well...I’ll see if I can fit it in my schedule.” 

“By all means,” Ancano said slyly. “I would not want to cut into your study time. Gods know you need all you can get.” 

Astrid gaped. “Is that so?” She got up and began dressing, taken off-guard by the sudden jab. But then she considered the comment, allowing a moment for her temper to cool. She finished buttoning her robe as he pulled on sleeping pants. She crossed her arms, and turned to him with a canny look. “Well, if you know so much—” she began. 

“I do,” he assured her. 

“Teach me something, then.” 

“Teach?” Ancano snorted, lounging back on the bed. “I am no teacher.” 

“Why? You don’t think you can do it? Or maybe you don’t know as much as you say?” 

He gave her an unimpressed look. “I do not appreciate the attempts to bait me, but if you want it that much, I suppose I could think of something to show you.” 

Astrid sat on the bed, waiting. 

Ancano sighed softly. The more time she spent with him, the more Astrid began to recognize which of his irritated looks were genuine, and which ones were a facade for when he was actually enjoying himself. This current look was the latter. “Which fields of magic are of interest to you?” he asked. 

“I study destruction and restoration,” she said. “But I’m sure you’re already well aware of that and have it written down in your little book.” 

He chose not to confirm or deny that statement. “I think teaching students combat magic would be frowned upon by my superiors. But perhaps I can show you something with restoration.” He thought for a moment. “How much do you know of healing magic?” 

She gave a hesitant shrug, knowing that her abilities wouldn’t sound like much to him. “I can heal a cut. I’ve done that since I was young. But...I don’t know much else.” 

“What about internal wounds? Things you can’t see from the outside?” 

She shook her head. “We don’t really get the chance to practice things like that, unless someone happens to get hurt.” 

“You can practice it on yourself. And, you don’t need to be hurt,” he added when he saw the look on her face. “Restoration is the magic of life. When you use it, you are making a connection with a living--or formerly living--thing. To heal a body, you must be able to feel the life inside it. Do you understand?” 

She nodded. 

He pressed a hand to his bare chest, and there was a glow of white-gold magicka around his fingers. He closed his eyes in concentration. “With restoration magic, you can reach inside a body, so to speak, and feel the parts of it that need to be restored. You can try feeling your own heartbeat, to start with.” 

Astrid placed a hand over her heart. “I can feel my heartbeat without magic,” she said skeptically. 

“Yes, that’s what makes it easiest to start with. Do you want to learn something or not?” 

She closed her eyes, bringing a cloud of magicka to her hand. “Is this how you learned?”

“Yes. A long time ago. Focus, or you won’t be able to do it.” 

She squeezed her eyes shut tighter, and concentrated on the magicka in her hand. She could feel her heartbeat, very faintly. She was quiet and still for a long time, feeling for...something. After a minute or so, she grew less hopeful--how long was she supposed to do this before something happened? Or before she gave up? 

But then, something happened. Her heartbeat seemed to grow stronger, and then it became an imprint in her mind, a strange and nebulous sensation of the flow of life energy in her chest. The world outside her faded away as she focused entirely on the magic flowing around her hand. She felt more than the beating. She could feel the weight of it, the presence of it, as if it were sitting in her hand. It was like nothing she’d ever felt before. This was powerful magic. 

“It’s alright if you can’t--” Ancano was saying, almost apologetically, as Astrid opened her eyes. 

“I did it,” she gasped. Her shock at the success had snapped her out of it again, but she had done it. “I did it.” 

Ancano gave her a small smile, amused by her excitement. 

Astrid cleared her throat. “Well. Maybe you do know something, after all,” she said, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. 

“Yes…” he said, raising an eyebrow. “But if you want to learn more, you’ll have to come see me again.” 

Astrid grinned. “I will hold you to that.” 


	10. Chapter 10

“Did you hear there was some kind of explosion in town the other day?” Valyra said. She uncorked another energy potion. It was too late to be drinking another, but their final works for the quarter were due the next day, and the treatise on destruction theory that Valyra had been writing still had quite a way to go before it was finished. Astrid was also fairly sure that liquids of any kind were not allowed in the library, but she didn’t mention it.

“Oh?” Astrid said, blinking sleepily. The collection of books she’d been citing sat in a stack on the table beside her. Her treatise on restoration lay next to it, complete as of earlier that day.

Valyra nodded. “S’Rasha saw it from the top of the tower. Said it lit the night sky like an aurora. There’s a crater the size of the Jarl’s longhouse on the road west of town now.”

Astrid raised her head from her hand, concerned. Ancano had mentioned this a while ago, but it sounded worse than he’d described. “Was anyone hurt?” 

“I don’t think so. But everyone in town is blaming us, of course.”

Astrid lowered her chin to rest in her palm again. “As they should, probably.”

“As they shouldn’t,” Valyra corrected her testily. “ _I_ didn’t have anything to do with that.”

“It was Fenris,” Astrid said.

Valyra blinked. “Fenris? The one that Ancano was looking for? Azura, I’d nearly forgotten about him.”

Astrid nodded. “He’s supposed to have stolen some magic item from the College when he left, remember? I doubt anyone around here could make an explosion like that without the proper tools.”

“And you think he’s still around? If I were him, I’d have run off to another hold by now.”

“Maybe there’s something else he wants from the College,” Astrid said. Ancano would know. She could tell he knew more than he’d told her. Perhaps she could convince him to tell her more, the next time she saw him.

“No good can come from people like that,” Valyra said. “I hope he stays well away. The College has got enough bad press as it is.” She sighed and stared down at her paper, doodling something in the margin instead of writing. She looked up again, and eyed Astrid bitterly. “You’ve been in an awfully good mood today,” she said.

“Have I?”

“Yes,” Valyra muttered. “You’ve been acting strange for the past couple weeks. Smiling at nothing all the time, while everyone else tries not to die of stress over the quarter’s end.”

“Oh,” Astrid said, and realized she’d been smiling at nothing at that very moment. “I hadn’t meant to.”

“And then, the other half of the time, you’re all moody and quiet. Do you know that yesterday I had to say your name three times to get your attention? I don’t know what you could have been thinking of.”

“I’m anxious. It’s the end of my first quarter here. I don’t want to mess it up.”

Valyra squinted at her, setting her pen down. A few stray drops of ink splattered her page, but she took no notice. “Maybe,” she said. “Or, maybe—” she leaned in conspiratorially, watching Astrid closely, “you’ve been seeing someone.”

Astrid’s eyes popped wide. “What? Why would you say that?”

Valyra leaned back and crossed her arms, satisfied. “You are, aren’t you? I knew it.”

“That’s not why I’m smiling. I was in a good mood after finishing my treatise, that’s all.”

“A roll in the hay puts anyone in a good mood,” Valyra said, as if she hadn’t heard her. “What I don’t understand is how you have time for that, and still have time to finish all your work before me.”

“Maybe I spend more time working instead of pestering my friends about their private lives,” Astrid said.

“Who’s pestering?” Valyra smiled slyly at her. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’m jealous, if I’m honest.”

Astrid did not smile back.

“So who is it?” Valyra said, undeterred.

Astrid looked away. She had never been the type to hide and lie, and she didn’t like having to do it now--especially not to Valyra. But she couldn’t tell her the truth. That had never been an option. Everyone at the College liked Ancano little enough already--what would they do if they found out he was sleeping with one of the students? The College’s patience only went so far, and he made little effort not to test it already.

On top of that, what would people think about _her_? Fraternizing with someone from the Dominion was one thing--but Ancano? Other people didn’t know him like she did. They wouldn’t understand why she was doing this. What kind of Nord would sleep with a member of the Thalmor--let alone get attached to one? Let alone get attached to one who wasn’t attached to her in the same way?

Astrid frowned into her hand. Suddenly her mood had soured significantly.

“Look—” Valyra said, pointing at her with a slender finger. “You’re doing it now. Going moody.”

She avoided meeting Valyra’s eyes, afraid of giving herself away. “There’s nothing like that going on. Really.”

“Hmm,” Valyra said. “I don’t believe you. Come on, just tell me. Is it Vilkur?”

“Valyra…”

“Arven?”

“No.”

“Torvind?”

“Please, Valyra.”

“I’ll know when I say the right name because you’ll start blushing. You blush too much--it gives it away.”

Astrid stood up. “Well! It’s late, I should probably be getting to bed.” She quickly gathered up her books and paper.

Valrya blinked in surprise. “Oh, I was only teasing, Astrid. Come on, don’t be angry.”

“I’m not angry. Just tired,” she said, giving a little smile to assure her she meant it.

The Dunmer pursed her lips. “Alright,’ she said uncertainly. “Well, joking aside...you know you can talk to me if there’s something wrong, right?”

Astrid gave her an appreciative smile. For a moment, she almost considered explaining everything to her. She would have loved to ask someone else for advice, if only to ease the burden of having to deal with it alone. “Yes. Thank you, Valyra,” she said, shifting the books in her arm to better balance the weight.

“I’ll just be here. With this damned paper. Until the morning, probably.” Valyra sighed, picking up her pen again.

“Good luck,” Astrid said in farewell. She turned to walk to the librarian’s desk, and realized that Ancano had just come in from outside and was also approaching the desk. Her steps faltered. She resisted the urge to look back and see if Valyra had noticed. Ancano glanced up at her, but quickly looked away again.

He dropped a large book on the desk in front of Urag. “I am returning this book,” he announced. “And there is a witness now, so you can’t lose it and then claim I stole it, like last time.”

Urag grunted dismissively. “Put it away yourself, book-stealer. You know where you got it from--you can put it back.”

“I am not a librarian’s assistant,” Ancano said with a condescending smile. “I’m sure there is someone with less important things to do who can take care of it.”

“That ‘someone’ you’re talking about would be me?” Urag asked, his voice like footsteps on gravel.

Ancano raised his eyebrows pointedly, and let the silence be his response.

Astrid stared at both of them. “ _I_ can put it away, if it’s such a bother…?” she said to Ancano.

He glanced at the stack of books in her arms, and had the decency to look a little embarrassed. He shot another glare at Urag, then sighed and picked up the book again. “No, I’ll do it,” he muttered.

Urag watched him go, then turned to Astrid. His dark eyes watched her a moment. “I take it you got over your fight?” he grumbled.

“I’m sorry?”

Urag looked toward Ancano, then back at her. “Orsimer have quite good hearing,” he said blandly.

Astrid stared at him. Her face felt hot suddenly as she recalled the conversations she’d had with Ancano in this very room, not too far from this desk. “I just--It’s not—”

“I don’t care,” Urag said. “As long as there are no more loud outbursts in the library.”

Astrid nodded dumbly. She held out her stack of books.

“Just put them there,” Urag said, nodding to the corner of the desk.

She dropped the books on the desk, and quickly left.

* * *

Back in her room, Astrid slumped against the door and stared at the wall, still stunned, and tried to catch her breath. “ _Talos,”_ she muttered. “Why have I done this to myself?”

She did not think that Urag would tell anyone, but being confronted by both him and Valyra in the span of a few minutes had shaken her. She had always been aware of the possibility of someone finding out, but she hadn’t been ready to face it yet. Perhaps it was a sign that she’d let things go on too long.

As she calmed, she set her paper on her desk and sat heavily on the bed.

There were a million reasons why she shouldn’t be doing what she was doing with Ancano. She had chosen to ignore those reasons before, but being confronted by an outside witness had snapped her out of her blissful irresponsibility.

She was a Nord enrolled in the College of Winterhold. She couldn’t be romantically involved with Ancano the Thalmor agent who had been sent to spy on the College for the Dominion. He was not a friend of the College, no matter what he said. She did not know how she could convince her friends that he was not an enemy when even she wasn’t sure if that was true. When the College’s needs and the Thalmor’s conflicted, he was going to side with the Thalmor. It could be only a matter of time before he turned on them, couldn’t it? Did she want to risk being entangled with him when something like that happened? She did not think his heritage or his allegiance could be separated from himself. She certainly didn’t think he would do it for her sake. It was not fair to ask him to, anyway.

And yet, he was not entirely hostile to the College, either. He had helped them send that beast from Namira’s realm back to where it came from. If he had not intervened, people would have died. The worst he’d done to anyone here was make threats, even though he’d had plenty of opportunity to do more. A part of her felt guilty for being suspicious of him--but it would be foolish not to be.

The biggest problem in all of this, by far, was that she liked him.

That was not supposed to have happened. In the beginning, she had never been thinking about the future. She had not thought far enough ahead to imagine it would go on this long. But here they were, still meeting every other night, with neither showing the desire to stop. The more she met with him, the more she wanted to keep doing it. Each time she went to his room, she seemed to end up staying there a little longer than the last time. She didn’t only enjoy his body, she enjoyed his company.

It was not supposed to be this difficult to think about not seeing him anymore. That was how she knew that things had gone too far.

She got up and began preparing for bed. As she pulled her robe over her head, she wondered what Ancano would do if she told him she didn’t want to see him anymore. Would it be back to the old, short-tempered Ancano she’d known when he’d first arrived? Would he be angry with her?

What if he didn’t care either way? That possibility upset her more than any other.

She climbed into bed, pulling the covers tight around her, and stared at the ceiling. She did not sleep. Her stomach was twisting itself in anxious knots. Valyra was right--it had been like this a lot, recently.

She had been tossing and turning, wide awake, for perhaps an hour when she happened to look up to her bookshelf and see a library book there--one that she had forgotten about when she’d taken the other books back earlier that day. She cursed under her breath. She was supposed to have returned them all that evening. She did not want to have to go out again so late, but she didn’t want to risk getting on Urag’s bad side now, either.

Sighing, she climbed back out of bed again, and dressed to go out.


	11. Chapter 11

With the library book tucked under her arm, Astrid ventured out into the chill, dark halls of the College. There was no one else out. Everyone with any sense was asleep by now. It was silent, except for the wind howling outside the walls. It was the kind of night that even Nords should be spending inside, preferably tucked into a warm bed beside a fire. She quickened her steps, eager to return the book and get back to her room. 

Curiously, as she walked she became aware of another sound--the distant spark and sizzle of spellcasting. It was not such an unusual sound to hear in the College, but it was not one she expected to hear at this time of night. Perhaps Valyra wasn’t the only one up late finishing a project. 

As she neared the courtyard, the sounds grew louder. Unable to suppress her curiosity, she took a turn down the hallway toward the courtyard. Something about the sounds made her uneasy. There was something unusual about them. 

Distantly, there came a series of angry shouts from outside. She stopped. 

Lights from outside slipped under the gap at the bottom of the door at the end of the hallway. There was a flash of violet light across the stone floor, and then blue, and then darkness again. Suddenly, the ground shook, like something heavy had dropped to the ground. 

Her heart raced. A voice inside her urged her to run. This was not the work of a student. Something was wrong. 

She stood frozen in the hall for a few moments, when she heard another shout. The voice was familiar, and a new surge of fear shot through her. “Ancano?” she whispered. 

Dropping the library book, she pushed open the heavy door to the courtyard. 

A burst of cold wind and snow rushed through the doorway. It was snowing hard, and the wind pierced right through her. She held a hand up to shield her eyes against the wind and snow. The moons were bright that night, filling the courtyard with light. 

Everything was white, and it took her a moment to pick out the figures in the sheet of snow. There were two of them, both clad in dark robes. Ancano...and Fenris. 

Astrid leaned into the shadows of the doorway, trying to keep out of sight. Ancano was slowly advancing on Fenris, his feet dragging through the almost-knee-deep snow. He raised a glowing wall of pale magic between them. A ward.  Fenris held something in his hand--a staff. The massive gem at the end of it was glowing, pulsing with magicka. And he was smiling, unconcerned by his opponent. Astrid watched them, frozen in indecision and fear. She could not be sure which of them had started the fight. Fenris was a thief, but Ancano was Ancano. 

“I will not say it again. Drop the staff,” Ancano shouted through the wind. 

“You should probably run, elf,” Fenris said easily. The staff was glowing brighter by the second. 

“Drop it or I’ll turn you to ash!” 

Fenris only smiled. 

Ancano waved an arm, and lightning streaked toward Fenris. Astrid flinched at the blinding flash, but Fenris only waved the staff in front of him. A solid shape made of bluish light--some kind of shield--appeared around him, and the lightning dissolved before it could hit him. The gem at the end of the staff dimmed, but only slightly. 

“You’ll blast the entire College into the sea!” Ancano shouted. “You know you cannot control it!” 

“You have no idea what I can do,” Fenris said. The staff glowed brighter and brighter, nearly vibrating with energy. Ancano stepped forward, and his ward quickly grew and curved to form an enclosure around Fenris. Fenris paid it no mind. 

The staff grew so bright that Astrid had to cover her eyes. A crack like thunder split the air, and a wave of energy exploded out from the staff in every direction. She ducked into the shelter of the doorway--the only protection she could find. She saw Ancano go flying backward, and then the force hit her, slamming her hard against the door. 

She wondered if she’d blacked out for a second, because for a moment everything seemed to disappear, and then she was on the floor. Groaning, she held a hand to her head. She was dizzy, and her head ached, but the edge of the doorway had shielded her somewhat from the blast. Everything hurt, but nothing was broken. She staggered to her feet. 

All the snow in the courtyard had been blasted away, leaving only a few specks of white scattered about. Several cracks had formed in the walls, and a few blocks of stone had come loose and fallen to the ground. A cold panic filled Astrid. If Ancano hadn’t warded the staff before the explosion, would the building have survived the blast? 

On the ground, against the wall across the courtyard, lay Ancano. He had taken the full brunt of the staff head-on. He wasn’t moving. Something inside Astrid broke when she saw him. 

Fenris had not been affected by the blast whatsoever. The staff, it seemed, had protected him. Now the gem at the end of it was dim again. 

Fenris calmly crossed the courtyard to stand over Ancano. As he approached, Ancano began to stir. He tried to get up, but didn’t get far before he was forced to stop, grimacing in agony. He raised a hand to cast something, but then Fenris held the staff over him, and Ancano flinched as if in pain. A ribbon of blue light sprouted from Ancano’s chest and was sucked into the gem at the end of the staff, and gradually the staff began to brighten again. It was draining magicka from Ancano to power itself. 

“Fenris!” Astrid shouted, and she found herself walking toward him. Ancano looked up at her, horrified. 

Fenris took a step back in surprise, but relaxed when he saw her. She did not intimidate him. He did not even seem to recognize her. 

“Stay back, girl. This doesn’t concern you.” 

She approached slowly, holding her hands out in a peaceful gesture. “Just tell me what you want. I’ll help you get it. Please, you don’t need to hurt anyone.” 

Fenris smiled and looked down at Ancano again, and Astrid got the impression that he would enjoy hurting him, whether or not there was anything to be gained from it. But then he looked up at Astrid again, apparently interested in her offer. 

“I’m here for the staff’s focusing crystal. I’m not leaving until I get it.” 

“I don’t know what that is,” Astrid said helplessly. 

“No, you wouldn’t,” he realized, looking down at her apprentice robes. 

“Astrid, just stay away. Go get help,” said Ancano weakly. 

Fenris turned to him, having lost interest in Astrid, and pointed the staff directly at his chest. Even only half-charged, it would be a killing blow. Ancano raised a hand in front of him, but only a few stray sparks formed around it. His magicka had not had enough time to recover. 

Astrid raised her arm, pointed, and released a streak of fire at Fenris. 

It was not a weak spell. The fire would have burnt a hole through his chest--but Fenris spotted her movement before the fire reached him, and up came the staff’s shield again. The fire disappeared into thin air. Astrid flinched as he turned and pointed the staff at her. 

She could see the force that came out of it--it warped the air as it traveled toward her, and then it hit her. The impact was like hitting the ground after falling from a cliff, and then there was a second impact as she hit the wall behind her. 

She was not as quick to get up, this time. The force had knocked the wind out of her, and it was painful to move. She managed to look up and see Fenris coming toward her. 

Then, another ball of fire came shooting over her head toward Fenris. His eyes went wide, and his shield appeared just in time to block it. 

“Astrid!” came a voice, and Valyra’s wide red eyes appeared in front of her. “By Azura, are you alright?” She looked up as Fenris pointed the staff at them again. Astrid pushed Valyra away and rolled to the side. The staff’s blast barely missed her. Without even getting up, Astrid rolled and shot another burst of fire at him. He blocked it easily with the staff, then had to turn to block Valyra’s next spell, as well. 

He glowered at them. “You have no idea who you’re dealing with, do you?” he said. The staff had dimmed, but was slowly brightening again. “You should have minded your own business.” He lowered the shield and pointed the staff at Astrid again. 

Fenris never got the chance to attack. Suddenly he screamed. His body went completely rigid, and there was a horrible crackling as magical lightning swept up and down his body. Prone on the ground beside him, grasping his ankle, was Ancano, grimacing with the effort of casting the spell. 

Abruptly, Fenris’s screams quieted. The lightning faded. He dropped the staff, then slowly tipped over and fell face-first into the ground. His body smoked slightly. His clothes and hair were blackened in spots. Ancano, having used the last of his energy and more, collapsed in exhaustion. 

The air was filled with the empty sound of the wind, intermingled with their labored breathing. The snow was already forming a thin layer of white on the ground again. 

Valyra came to Astrid, staring at the smoking corpse all the while. “Fenris,” Valyra said breathlessly. “I don’t believe it. What was he doing here?” She held Astrid’s arm as she climbed to her feet. “What were  _ you _ doing here? Are you alright?” 

“Valyra,” Astrid said hoarsely. She held the other girl close. Her knees were wobbling as she stood. “If you hadn’t been here, he might’ve…” 

“You’re not hurt?” 

“I’m fine,” Astrid said. She wasn’t, but she would live. She wasn’t so sure about Ancano’s fate. He was face down on the stone, perfectly still. She staggered over and crouched beside him. “Ancano?” 

He didn’t answer. 

Valyra came to kneel beside her. “Is he…?” 

Astrid pushed his side and flipped him over. To her relief, he winced in pain, flinching away from her touch. She’d touched something she shouldn’t have, but at least he was still alive. His eyes opened to narrow slits to look at her. 

“He isn’t,” he whispered very softly. He breathed shallow, small breaths, and it was clear that it was an effort to do so. He’d hit the wall hard. There was blood in his hair, but that wasn’t what worried Astrid most. 

“Internal wounds,” Astrid murmured to him. He closed his eyes again, breathing ragged breaths. He could have healed himself if he had any magicka, she was sure. If only… 

“Do you have a healing potion?” Astrid asked Valyra. 

“Who carries around healing potions?” she said, shrugging helplessly. 

Astrid looked over her shoulder, toward the entrance to the dormitories. There was a small crowd of students there now, still holding back in case the danger was not yet over. None of them would know advanced healing spells, and she did not know if they had the time to wait for someone who would. 

She turned back to Ancano, and gently placed her hands on his chest. “ _ Talos aid me _ ,” she whispered. She closed her eyes, and felt for his heart. 

For a long time, she sensed nothing. She squeezed her eyes shut to keep tears from springing to them, and focused. Ancano’s heart beat, faintly, beneath his clothes. Valyra was silent beside her as she searched desperately for the life inside him. 

And then, she found it. 

Magicka flowed through her fingers as she mentally felt her way through his body, seeing the hurts inside of it. It was different, and more difficult, this time--doing it on another person, instead of herself. His body felt unfamiliar and reacted in unexpected ways to her touch, but as she worked, she could feel him responding to the magic. 

As the map of his body formed in her mind, she channeled the strongest healing spell she could, and spread it through him. Through her closed eyelids she could see the bright glow of magicka forming around her hands. 

She kept at it for what seemed like a long time, though perhaps it was only moments. She could sense flesh knitting back together and blood vessels resealing. It was working. 

Suddenly she felt a hand come to rest over hers. Shocked, she opened her eyes. 

Ancano had opened his eyes again--though it looked like it was an effort. His skin was pallid from the cold, his fingers red and icy, but already he looked stronger. His hand squeezed hers weakly. 

She opened her mouth, then closed it, unsure how to properly voice her relief. Even yesterday, she would never have thought she would be this glad to see him looking up at her. “You’re going to be alright,” she said, as much to reassure herself as him. Ancano squeezed her hand a little harder. 

He took a breath, swallowed, and then slowly sat up, leaning on Astrid for support. He glanced up at Valyra, who was watching them with eyes wide in surprise and understanding. She glanced at Astrid, then pursed her lips and looked away, perhaps feeling she’d intruded on too personal a moment. 

“You don’t have to get up. A real healer will be here soon,” Astrid said to Ancano. 

He shook his head. “Get me the staff,” he said softly. 

Astrid looked at the staff, still a few inches from Fenris’s outstretched hand. It glowed faintly in the falling snow. 

“You’ve almost died,” Astrid said. “Is the staff your highest priority right now?” 

Ancano turned to look Astrid in the eyes, deadly serious. “I cannot let the College have it,” he whispered, slowly enunciating each word. 

“Because the Thalmor want it?” Astrid said, disapprovingly. 

He just looked at her tiredly, silently begging the question: what had she expected? 

“Then don’t tell them you found it. They don’t have to know. Just forget about it,” Astrid pleaded. 

He took a long time to answer, and Astrid wondered if he was actually considering following her advice. “If my superiors find out that this staff is here, they will order me to take it,” he said slowly, as if willing her to understand. 

Astrid understood. There was not a real choice. He would have to try to take it now, or try to take it later, and whenever that happened, it would mean positioning himself against the College, or against his own people. It would mean the end of his time at the College. As long as the staff remained here, it would remain a barrier between Ancano and the College--between Ancano and her. 

Flustered, Astrid turned to the staff. The Arch-Mage and the Wizards would want to keep it, for study, if not more. But the thing had almost caused all of their deaths. 

She staggered over to it, hesitated, then carefully picked it up, half afraid it would explode in her hand. It thrummed with power, practically vibrating with pent up magical energy. The feel of that much power in her hands almost made her change her mind about what she was about to do. She had never felt that much magic in one place before. 

She turned to the students crowded in the doorway, who were watching her with fearful fascination, then to Ancano, whose eyes were pinned to her like a cat tracking a bird. “Only evil can come of a weapon like this,” she announced for everyone to hear. “It’s too powerful for mortal hands.” 

As she was saying this, another group arrived at the other door--the Arch-Mage, Mirabelle, and the other Wizards included. Astrid didn’t wait for them to speak. Without another word, she turned to face the high wall of the College, toward the sea. She wrapped a bundle of telekinetic magic around the staff, letting it hover out of her hand. Then she drew back and threw it, pushing as much power behind it as she could. The staff arced high over the wall and began to fall again, tumbling end over end until it was out of sight, lost to the ocean. 

There was a series of gasps and cries from the group of Wizards in the doorway--the ones who knew what the staff was, and what had just been lost. 

Ancano gaped. It was the most shocked expression Astrid had ever seen on him. For a moment, he looked furious at the betrayal. But then he looked at her, and the anger faded. Perhaps he realized that what she’d just done was an act of love, not spite. Or, perhaps he was simply too exhausted to fight any longer. Lacking the motivation to stay sitting up now that the staff was gone for good, he sighed and fell back onto the ground. 

There was a great deal of shouting and noise as the incoming Wizards demanded to know what was going on, and why there was a dead mage in the courtyard, and why Ancano and Astrid and Valyra sat in the middle of all of it. 

“Do you think they’ll give me an extension because of this?” Valyra muttered to Astrid as the crowd approached. 


	12. Epilogue

“Restoration is one of the more difficult schools of magic to study, because of the difficulty of finding safe opportunities to practice it,” Tolfdir admitted to the class. There were fifteen or so, including Astrid and Valyra, standing in a rough circle around the Wizard. 

“But that’s no reason not to keep studying. You never know when someone might need help, and knowing the theory and the spells could mean the difference between life and death, even if you don’t have practical experience.” He paused. “Er...Colette Marence would usually be helping with this, but she’s still got the cold fever, so she won’t be in for another few days, at least. So I hope you all don’t mind if we review some of the things we talked about last quarter.” 

There were few mutters of aggravation from the students. 

“It’s only a few days,” Tolfdir said quickly, raising his hands in a placating motion. “There’s nothing wrong with a little review.” 

Astrid shifted, trying to decide if she should speak up. A couple weeks ago, she wouldn’t have. But things were different now. Things were changing, slowly. 

“Ancano knows about restoration,” she said. The class turned to look at her. Valyra gave her a smug, knowing smirk. Astrid ignored her. She turned to glance back at Ancano, along with all the other students. He’d been writing something in a notebook, but had looked up when she’d said his name. He frowned, annoyed by the attention. There was a noticeable yellow-reddish bruise on his left cheek. “They have a different way of teaching it in Summerset, I think,” Astrid said. “He could show us.” 

Tolfdir looked up, bewildered by the suggestion. “He could?” 

“He couldn’t,” Ancano said, and went back to his notebook. 

“Seems like you may as well do something useful if you’re going to be here anyway,” Astrid said. 

Ancano didn’t look up. 

Astrid wasn’t so easily shaken off. “And also, didn’t I save your life a few days ago?” 

There was an amused murmur amongst the students. Ancano gave her a discontented stare. 

“Exchanging knowledge  _ is _ a good way to build good relations between peoples,” Tolfdir pointed out. “ _ If _ that is your goal in being here?” he said, friendly but challenging. 

Ancano’s brow creased into a deep frown. He cast a suspicious eye over the gathered students. Then his eyes fell on Astrid. 

He set his notebook down. “Alright,” he said reluctantly. “Since I owe Astrid a favor.” He approached the group, which parted to give him a wide berth. Everyone stared at him. He looked uncomfortable with the number of eyes on him, until he caught Astrid’s eye again. She smiled. 

Ancano cleared his throat, and began. 

* * *

Outside the communal baths in the basement, Astrid swept her mop over the smooth stones of the hall floor, back and forth in precise arcs, from one side of the hall to the other. She had mastered the rhythm now, after doing it for a few days in a row, and could mop an entire hallway to perfection in under ten minutes. That didn’t mean it was easy work. Her hair was slightly damp with sweat, and her back was beginning to hurt. 

It was late. But this was the only opportunity she had to clean, with all the other classwork she was doing during the day. She blinked sleepily, sighed, and dipped the mop back into the bucket, sweeping it around in a circle as she did so to break up the ice that was beginning to crust around the edges of the bucket. 

Her head was down and she was so focused on the floor that she didn’t notice anyone approach until she saw a pair of booted feet by her bucket. She knew who they belonged to even before she looked up. 

“What  _ are _ you doing?” Ancano asked, his brows drawn together in puzzlement. He was as beautiful as ever, despite the bruises. Astrid wondered if the novelty of it would ever wear off, or if he would always have this effect on her. 

She wiped a sleeve over her forehead and watched him, a little cautious. She hadn’t been alone with him since the incident the other day. She did not know how he would feel about what had happened. “Cleaning,” she said. 

“Why?” 

She leaned on the mop. “They put me to work as payment for the loss of the staff,” she said. She shrugged. “I prefer it to getting expelled from the College.” 

“They would be fools to expel you after you very likely saved the entire College.”

She smiled. “I think they feel the same. That’s why I’m down here, instead.” 

Ancano frowned at her, then looked around the hallway. After a moment, he raised one hand, and Astrid saw magicka gathering around it as he prepared to cast. 

“Stop!” she said. “What are you doing?” 

He stopped so quickly that the magicka in his hand snapped and sputtered oddly, halting the spell just as it had begun. “Cleaning,” he said, as if it were obvious. “I know a spell for it. It was going to be a romantic gesture.” 

A warm feeling tingled in Astrid’s stomach. She looked down and continued mopping, mostly to hide her blush. “Thank you, but I’m supposed to do it myself. It is a punishment, you know.” 

Ancano stared at her like she’d just started speaking Ehlnofex. He stepped aside as she neared his feet with the mop. For a few minutes she went on mopping. He watched her in silence, frowning. 

When she reached the end of the hall, she stopped, and wiped hair from her face. Her breath made warm puffs in the cold air. She dropped the mop in the bucket, breaking through a few bits of ice as she did so. 

“Tell me something,” she said. “Is there a way to use destruction magic to generate heat without fire?” 

Ancano cocked his head slightly, watching her suspiciously. 

“What--you’re not allowed to tell me?” she asked, crossing her arms. 

“Ah...no. I just thought you might be making a strange joke. I don’t always understand Nord humor, to be honest.”

“Why would you think it was a joke?” 

He smirked, opened his mouth to say something, but then only shrugged, instead. 

Astrid studied him. “Because you think it’s too silly a question to be asked seriously?” she surmised. 

He shrugged again--pointedly, she thought. 

“It’s to keep this from happening,” she said, nodding down to the icy bucket. “There must be a way to heat the water without burning up the bucket, right?” 

Slowly--to avoid injuring whatever parts of him were still healing--Ancano bent to kneel beside the bucket. He looked at the dirty water with distaste. “You really should let me do this for you. It would be so much more sanitary. Cleaning non-magically is so…” He looked up at her, saw her look of disapproval, and shook his head. “Nevermind. Watch closely.” 

Astrid bent to watch his hands as they hovered over the water. There was a ripple of magicka over his fingers, and then a ripple over the bucket as colorless, invisible, fireless heat began warping the air. Very quickly, the ice in the bucket became smaller and smaller until it disappeared. It had happened so quickly she had barely had time to see what he’d done. 

“Like a fire spell. But...less,” he explained. 

Astrid looked around, and spotted a patch of ice that had formed on the floor where she’d let the water puddle a little too much. She went to it, raised her palm over it, and concentrated. A fire spell, but less. He made it sound so easy. 

Bits of flame sparked in her hand, and she struggled to suppress the formation of fire or lightning while still letting the heat through. She squinted at the ice, which showed no signs of melting, and pushed the magicka harder, willing heat to spill forth from her palm. 

“Don’t force it,” Ancano warned. 

The warning came too late. She pushed harder, and suddenly a misshapen swirl of fire blasted from her hand into the floor. She flinched as the fire disappeared, then looked with dismay at the black mark it had left on the floor. 

“Ah...well. It seems I need some more practice,” she said dryly. She rubbed at the mark with a finger but it wouldn’t come off. Just another one of the College’s many magic-induced scars. 

Ancano smirked, shaking his head. 

“You don’t have to laugh about it,” Astrid said, standing up. “It was my first try.” 

“I wasn’t laughing at you.” 

“Seemed like you were.” 

“I didn’t mean it like that.” The smirk had disappeared. “You are a good mage. You learn very quickly. Much faster than I did, when I was studying magic.” 

She cocked an eyebrow, glancing back at the black mark on the floor. 

“You learn much more slowly when you expect to have mastered something the moment you first attempt it. I did not realize that until long after I should have. I struggled.” He looked like there was suddenly a bad taste in his mouth, and frowned. 

“The people I grew up with do not say things like ‘I need more practice’,” he went on. “They do not make mistakes in front of others. They do not ask questions in classes--they go home and research them in private, instead, so they can pretend that they knew all along. Hearing you say things like that is...I’ve had to get used to it. When I first arrived here, I couldn’t understand why you all acted the way you did. I couldn’t understand why you didn’t have more pride. I felt that you all were rather simple.” He looked up, a little apprehensive, like he was afraid he’d said too much. 

“Yes, you made that quite clear,” Astrid said with a snort. 

He looked away, avoiding meeting her eyes. “I...no longer think that.” 

Astrid looked at him for a long moment, her breaths puffing out clouds every few seconds. She walked closer to him, and gently held his face in her hands. He let her. For once, neither of them moved to do anything further. 

She brushed a finger over the bruise on his cheek. “Are there more?” she asked. "Bruises?" 

“Oh, yes.” He pointed to several spots on his left side, along his ribs and hip. “Here, and here. They’re incredibly ugly.” 

“I don’t mind,” Astrid said. 

He smiled. “Regardless, it may be some time before I am able to...perform, again.” 

“That’s alright,” Astrid said with a sigh. She gave the bucket a tap with her foot. “I’ve got no time for it, anyway, now that I’m the janitor.” 

Ancano looked down at the bucket, perturbed again. 

“You don’t have to feel guilty,” Astrid said. 

He narrowed his eyes at her. “How do you suddenly always know what I’m thinking? You didn’t use to be able to do that. I don’t like it.” 

She smiled. “I don’t always know. Before you came down here, I was afraid you might be angry at me,” she said tentatively, afraid he still might be.

“After you saved my life?” he said, raising an eyebrow. 

“For losing the staff.” 

He folded his arms, frowning down at her. “Do you think I have no capacity for gratitude? Do you think my work is more important to me than remaining among the living is?” 

“Nevertheless,” Astrid said, “you wanted the staff. That’s one of the reasons you’re here, isn’t it? To keep things like that from coming into the College’s possession?” 

Ancano was quiet for a few moments. Astrid was accustomed to these moments now--the times when he was considering how much he could, or should, say to her. 

“The staff is out of reach, and therefore no longer relevant to our interests,” he said. “And that is what my report to the Embassy will say.” 

“And what about next time?” Astrid said. “What about the next staff, or whatever thing it is that you think we shouldn’t have? Who else will you kill to get it, if not Fenris?” 

Ancano looked offended. “I killed Fenris because he was unhinged. He could have destroyed the entire College and killed all of us.” 

“You know what I’m asking, Ancano.”

He paused, again. 

“I don’t know,” he said finally. “I will deal with whatever comes next as it happens. Perhaps if things keep getting thrown into the sea, it will not be a problem.” 

Astrid did not smile at the joke. 

“We have been through many things together, in a short amount of time,” Ancano said. “I cannot foretell my future with the College, but you must know by now that I would never do anything to hurt you.” 

“And what about the other students? The Wizards? Would you extend the same courtesy to them?” 

“I am not here to make war, Astrid,” he said, laughing a little. He rested his hands on her shoulders reassuringly. “I’m not an assassin. It’s just politics. No one is being endangered by my presence here.” 

She looked up at his face, and knew he meant what he said. 

She was reluctant to go into the extent of the doubts she’d had privately, but Ancano did not seem surprised by the questions. Some cultural and political walls were too high to break down in a mere few weeks. 

“Astrid,” he said quietly, somberly, “if you hadn’t been there the other day…I would not be here.” 

“Anyone else would have done what I did,” she said, shrugging him off. 

He looked a little sad as he corrected her, simply, “No.” 

Astrid had tried not to think about what might have happened that day, if they had been only slightly less lucky. It was hard to keep her mind off of it. 

She reached out and put her arms over his shoulders. She pressed her face into his hair and kissed his neck, breathing him in. He combed his fingers into her hair. As he began to tilt his head to kiss her, she pulled away to hold him at arm’s length. 

“Ancano...how much longer do you think you will be at the College?” she ventured. It was a question she’d had for some time, and had been too afraid of the answer to ask. 

He sighed. “I’ve been petitioning to be moved to another post since I arrived here,” he admitted, looking around at the dark, freezing stone halls with distaste. It must have been so different than what he was used to in Summerset. “It’s so damned cold here that I can’t feel my feet half the time, the food is terrible, and even if the town were worth visiting, I can’t leave the College grounds without risking life and limb.” 

Astrid raised her eyebrows, not having expected such a strongly-worded answer. “I can’t blame you, I suppose,” she said quietly, but was unable to hide her disappointment. “Even we natives don’t like it up here very much.” 

“But,” he went on, “a week ago...I sent another letter to the Embassy, rescinding the petition.” 

Astrid blinked. There was that warm tingling feeling again. “Oh?” she said, struggling to sound casual. “So, you’re staying here? For how long?” 

“I’m not certain,” he said, raising an eyebrow at her. “How long will you be studying here?” 

She looked at the floor to hide a smile. “It may be some time. Are you sure you can last that long?” 

“It will not feel so long, if you’re here.” 

She looked up at him. “I’m...glad,” she said lamely. She had never been good at expressing her feelings at times like this. But then Ancano smiled back at her and it seemed that, for them, for now, this was good enough. 

She found herself wishing he would undress her right then and there. It felt a little odd, meeting alone late at night and not doing anything with the opportunity. But she did not want to make his recovery any more difficult than it was already. 

But then, without saying anything, he took her hand and pulled her toward the arched doorway to the baths. When she didn’t protest, he walked more quickly, eagerly pulling her into the shelter of one of the private bathing stalls. 

“What—” she began to ask, but was interrupted when he grabbed her and kissed her. She smiled into him as he slowly moved from her mouth and on to her cheek, her jaw, her neck. 

Eventually his hand moved inside her coat and between her legs. 

“I thought you were too injured for this?” she said wryly. 

“For some things, yes,” he said, smirking. “But I’ve still got a perfectly good tongue, haven’t I?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the encouragement from everyone who read and commented. I started writing this on a whim when I was getting burnt out on another project, and didn't really think it would end up going anywhere. It's been great to hear how much other people have enjoyed it. ☺ 
> 
> I'm working on a number of other original and fanfic projects at the moment, but the good news is that there will probably be a second part to this story at some point, so feel free to stay tuned.


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